VOTE

Once again I LAG!

I know this. I have really interesting things to say in my opinion but when I start to write, it comes out like a 4th grader wrote it. Oh well. I suppose that shouldn't stop me.

I'm bored. It's Sunday afternoon and my daughter is napping (after another 3 day nap strike) and my husband is playing Madden football on XBox. My husband hates the word "bored" and says when one gets bored it's from a lack of imagination. Well.....I have a whole lotta no imagination then. I find myself bored fairly often. Days like this are when I really miss my pre-baby life. I always feel guilt in saying that but it's true. It does NOT mean that I regret having my daughter, but it does mean that it's a big change that I sometimes grieve for.

A few new things to chatter about. My brother is in town from Japan! I have not seen him in about 2 years! It's been fun seeing him each day since he got here on Thursday and watch him get to know K (he met her when she 18 months old). I'll be seeing him again tonight at my Dad's for dinner. I really miss that boy. Most of the time it's hard to believe I have a brother because he is so far away. Our relationship has changed - not for the worse, it's just different.

My mother. Lord have mercy. I do not like my mother right now. AT ALL. A few weeks ago she tells me that I "have really put on a lot of weight". I'm 5'3" and just under 120lbs. I was shocked at first, followed by extremely hurt and finally, ANGRY. Mind you, she tells me this after I got my blood cholesterol levels back and they were slightly elevated. My doc is making me retest in 10 weeks and is threatening to put me on Statins if she doesn't see them come down. It's sounds really aggressive but I have got a HIGH family history of heart disease. I have since joined the gym and now have a personal trainer. It's not so I can look like a supermodel or anything (not possible anyway) but so I can maximize my cardio exercise to bring down my cholesterol. I have to do it everyday so I want to do it right. I'll admit I've never been much for the gym but I am really enjoying it so far. It's only been about 3 weeks. Okay, I digressed. Back to my mom. We have gotten into so many LAME arguments. I seriously want to slap her. I feel like she is so hard on my all the time and can be really dismissive of me. She doesn't listen to me and it therefore makes me feel like she doesn't give a rat's ass. I'm sure (I hope) that's not the case but after all these years I'm not sure what to think anymore. Yes, I have brought this issue up a couple times and she gets super defensive and emotional and then I get a little angry because it's like she's trying to make me feel bad. She had a rough time growing up (poor, mother died when she was 9, 7 siblings) but is she allowed to use that excuse for this long? I've always been MUCH closer to my father. I feel like my mom and I are getting worse and worse.......sigh.

I avoid political stuff generally. I feel the need to talk a bit about Prop 8 though. As a permanent absentee voter I have already voted and my vote was NO on Prop 8. It doesn't bother me in the least nor does it offend me (or even affect me) if same sex marriages are legal. Seriously, what do I care? I think there are more pressing issues. I have not been able to hear a ton of the arguments from people who are for Prop 8 but the few I've heard go something like they don't like the word "marriage" being used. They'd be okay with calling it a "civil union/partnership" and giving them all the same rights. So they are really just arguing semantics. They feel that the word marriage is between a man and a woman (as defined in the Bible). I have to say though, that the bible didn't come up with the word "marriage". So, while the bible can define it how it wants, much of the bible is left up for interpretation - again - my opinion. My mom has said it "offends" her that gay people want to call it marriage. Why? How does it even affect you? How does it involve you at all? Their union doesn't even touch you are affect you! It's not any of your business. I'd love to hear more reasons why people are for prop 8. I'm sure I've only scratched the surface. I'm open to (and love hearing) the other side. I respect other people's opinions and think it's important to know what both sides have to say.

K's awake...back to my day.

Tatoo

Last night I had a dream that I went on this strange cruise where we camped out in tents on the deck of the ship. At some point during the cruise I got THREE tatoos. In the dream I realized that I had gotten these and I didn't really recall asking for them. I was so upset to see them the next morning especially when I saw what they were. One was a brightly colored flower with a few stars around it located just above my right boob. Ew. The other two were Disney characters but I don't remember what they were. One was on my left shoulder and the other was above my left boob. I kept asking everyone around me if I was drunk when I got them and if the tatoos were just temporary.

I was pretty happy this morning to realize that it was indeed all a dream.

Big Ol' Update

Oh Lordy. I've done it again. I just can't seem to keep up with a blog. I'll just jump right in with the latest.........

K is off school for these next two weeks while the teachers prepare for the fall. Her new teacher will be coming to our home to meet with us and her next week. How cool is that? She will be going 5 days a week starting September 3rd! I'm a little hesitant but then realize it's only 3.5 hours a day and make myself feel slightly better. I know she loves it and her language skill have been improving like CRAZY! Oh - and she's potty trained. Yeah - just like that. I mean, she's had a few accidents but no biggie. It's nice to not have to buy diapers anymore.

A couple weeks ago we did our first family camping trip! We ended up only staying one night but it was nice to get away to the mountains. There were 7 other families (all with kids around K's age) and 28 of us total! I'd like to make it a yearly thing so the kids can get to know each other. I loved camping when I was little.

Okay, she's awake from her nap, so I will try to be better about this darn blog!

I FINALLY did it!!

I went to yoga. Bikram yoga. After a 3.5 year hiatus. Oh lordy am I sore. I went both Saturday and Sunday even! I plan to go 2-3 times a week now that K is in pre-school. I figure I'll go 3 days/week every other week and 2 days/week every other week. That way on the 2 classes a week days I can run errands or schedule a haircut or just do nothing. Twice a month doesn't sound too indulgent right? Right. I was a nervous wreck on Saturday before class but I wasn't going to let myself get talked out of it. I even had a stomach ache. I made it through the majority of the class but by the time I got up to leave I was pretty nauseous. Today's class was 100% better so I feel good but sore.

Here's to finally getting to my New Year's resolution about 6 months late. (Better late than never!)

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!

Yep. K started school today. I have not been sleeping well at night for the past 4 or 5 nights. I've felt anxious and had restless leg syndrome (which royally pisses me off - I had it a lot during my pregnancy).

I did WAY better than I thought I'd do. I cried on the way to the school but managed to pull myself together before we walked in. I didn't want her to see my red, puffy, teary face and think that school was scary or bad.

Her teachers seem great and there were only 4 kids today so that's only 2 kids per teacher - great for her first school experience I think. The classroom is awesome with lots of stuff to explore and great natural light.

She didn't cry when we left. Thank GOODNESS for that. I called the school around 11am to see how she was doing. They said she cried for about 5 minutes after we left but then has been great ever since and exploring every inch of her new surroundings. I arrived at the school to pick her up about 15 minutes early hoping to spy on her a bit. When I peeked in the room the kids were eating lunch. I watched for a few minutes then went in and she immediately got up, ran to me and exclaimed, "oh look! It's my mama!" That was the best part.

All I did while she was in school was catch up on some email, pay some bills and make some phone calls. I managed to eat a bit but didn't have much of an appetite.

The first day was definitely a success. I'm a proud mommy today.

Vegas on a whim

As we were lying around the house on Saturday morning, my husband suddenly got the idea in his head that it would be a good idea to fly to Vegas and stay for the night. After a few phone calls to determine which hotel had the most kid-friendly pool area, we decided on the MGM Grand. We packed FAST and managed to forget a few key things (swim diapers, underwear for me and my NuvaRing). Oh well. The flight was great, K napped on the plane and it took only 1 hour and 22 minutes. It costs us less than a commercial flight for 3 of us and we didn't have to bother with their schedule, security checks or the boarding cattle call.....YES! The hub arranged for a private town car to take us to the hotel upon arrival. I was so wide eyed at the VIP service I must have looked like a total rookie.

The suite we were promised (at a huge discount by the way) was apparently given away as we checked in just an hour late. WTF? The hub used his players club points to get the upgrade but apparently it will be given away if another person with a higher players club status checks in before you. No biggie. We unloaded our stuff in the room and headed for the pool. Thank goodness they sold swim diapers at the pool area. The pool was CROWDED with young, drunk and loud people. Note to self: Vegas may not be the most appropriate place for kids! We went a couple times around the lazy river with K and she had a blast. I was so glad that we remembered her water wings. I had a good time watching the drunk and/or hungover people sweating it out in the Vegas heat by the pool. I was surprised to see people of all ages there (birth to 80's!). After the pool we headed to see the lion enclosure inside the hotel. They were sleeping but K enjoyed them all the same. We found a dinner place, made a 6:15 reservation, headed to the room, changed and back down to dinner. Fantastic food! I was kicking myself for not bringing the camera to dinner. The hub got a caesar salad to start and a big thick fillet mignon with king crab legs, grilled asparagus and creamy mashed potatoes for dinner. I ordered a build-your-own salad where you can check off up to 10 things for your salad. Mine included chopped romaine, spanish olives, shaved radish, toasted pine nuts, creamy dill ranch dressing, bacon bits, cucumber, avocado, and carrots. For dinner I had wild Alaskan halibut on a bed of lentils and rice with grilled asparagus. We shared our food with K and she loved it all (except the wild mushrooms on daddy's plate!). After dinner we headed back to the room, put K down for bed and we sat in bed and watched "Fool's Gold". The hub went downstairs to play blackjack while we slept. He was only gone a couple hours.

K slept in until 8am! Downstairs for a mediocre overpriced breakfast, then back to the room to pack, give our luggage to the bell desk to hold, and back out to the pool. AAAAAhhhh.....no one at the pool! All still sleeping off their night of partying. A couple times around the lazy river and lounging by the pool and we were hungry for lunch. We stopped by to visit the lions frolicking about and playing with the trainers. Lunch was at the Rainforest Cafe. K loved the noises of the stampedes and the rain as well as the animated elephants, monkeys and cheetahs. After lunch we gathered our luggage and took a short cab ride to the airport, loaded up on the green apples, bottled water, popcorn and chocolate chip cookies that are available for FREE in the terminal for the flight. The nice man who drove us out to our plane offered to drive K and I over to big Gulf Stream to take a tour while the hub did his pre-flight. What a cool plane! Like a mini Air Force One! Full staff and all. They were headed to Oklahoma. The pilot gave Naya a special "pilot's brownie". Back in the plane and off for home. We were back home by 4pm.

*Sigh* now it's back to our usual week of laundry, cleaning, cooking and running errands. I could get used to having a jet set life! K starts pre-school in ONE week! Yoga here I come.

*Forgot to add that the hub put $5 in a machine as we were leaving (much to my dismay) but instantly turned it into $25! Now, I know that's not a lot but I was happy it wasn't $5 lost but $20 gained! I am so NOT the gambler.

Hawaii

So...Hawaii. It was good. It wasn't great. K was a bit fussier than normal (although compared to most toddlers, we hear she is very easy) and I think we learned that traveling with another couple is difficult. Especially when they don't have kids. We ended up having to move from the home we rented due to some HUGE ASS roaches. Oh yes people. HUGE. The hub found the first one in his toiletries bag and turned white as a ghost. I'm cracking up thinking about it as I type this. Here is the big fucker:



We sucked it up in the vacuum then left the vacuum outside. Anyhow, the owner of the home gave us our money back and we moved to the Westin Resort which was awesome. Oddly there are a lot of hippies on the island. Why? Not that they bother me, but just found it odd - they do stand out with their white skin, dreads, and hitchhiking. Just sayin'
We even started saying (while in the car) "heeeey hippie". Now k repeats us but instead says "heeey hippets!". It probably doesn't sound funny to you, but it is to me.

I found the easiest recipe for chicken lettuce wraps - made them tonight. Super fast, super easy, and very tasty.
Okay, I'm tired.

Progress

K seems better today and she slept great last night. The hub just IM'ed me this though:
"I feel like 100% Prime, Grade AAA dog shit." Jeeeez. I'm poppin' the zinc lozenges and trying to stay über hydrated as well. I can't deal with Airborne or Emergen-C. It literally makes me gag.

4 loads of laundry are done and waiting to be folded and packed. Bought hubby his golf balls this morning - he plans to golf in Hawaii. Still have a lot to do but am thankful I'm feeling healthy! Packing for a little one takes up a lot of room. Diapers, life vest (the house in on a private lake), snacks, clothes (thank goodness there's a washer/dryer there), shoes, bug spray, sunscreen...blah blah blah. I bought K her own little backpack and she can't wait to carry it on the plane. She walks around the house wearing it while carrying a tape measure and telling me that my legs are 6" long. Thank goodness that's not true.

Dinner...what to make, what to make? Maybe I'll go to my mom's. Hub is staying over night for work to tie up some loose ends. Or maybe I'll just make those Nutella cupcakes I've been meaning to and call it a night?

Murphy's Law

K is sick with a cold. It started last night. I was up with her at 11 and 4ish am. Ugh. We leave for Hawaii on Friday. This kid never gets sick. Unless of course it's time to go on vacation I suppose. She was sick for a bit in Mexico with a cold too. WTF? I'm praying I don't get it.

I'm so tired. K is watching The Little Mermaid and I just made some fried rice. I need comfort food.

Kabuki

From here on out, I'm going to refer to my daughter as "Kabuki" or "K". Don't ask. I have about 6 billion nicknames for her so I picked the least embarrassing one.

I can't believe that K will be two and a half in a month. Time really does fly. Since I'm too lazy to write in her journal right now, I thought I'd type some updates on her.

She's officially in a toddler bed and loving it. For the first few days she would sing and talk to herself until we came and got her. Then she would call out for us to come get her. Then she would get out of bed and open her door and stand in the hall just outside her door and call out to us. Now, she wakes up quietly, gets out of bed and walks either down the hall to our room if it's in the morning or stands at the gate at the top of the stairs and calls down to me after her nap. I think she really loves that tiny bit of newfound independence.

Food-wise she seems to love pungent and/or salty foods. She must be in a growth spurt at the moment because she is suddenly eating a ton. Everyday she eats no less than 6 mandarin oranges.

Talking: Oh my. She is hilarious. Loves to play with maracas. She grabs a stuffed animal and one of her maracas, strips down naked then runs circles around our kitchen island and says "c'mon mama, let's dance!" Her favorite toys right now are the maracas, certain stuffed animals, a toy stroller and some magnetic letters and LEGO farmer figurines. She likes to stuff the farmers in her purse, put the purse over her shoulder then grab the stroller and go "shopping" for the following: oranges, onions and chocolate. I have no idea how she came up with that yummy trio.

Classes: Still doing a weekly gymnastics class. I love the teacher, the gym, the physical activity and the socialization she gets. I'm getting a bit bored of it though. We've been going for a year now. We just started her 3rd Music Together session on Wednesday. Ironically, this session is called "Maracas". I think it's a great program albeit expensive. Her gym class and music class are back to back which could cause some meltdowns so I may switch K to the Thursday music class. I figure I'm only going to be doing these classes with her until mid-June. This leads us to.......

PRESCHOOL!!! OMG. 3 days a week. Starting in early July. I'm freaked out. I was going to let her nap there but I think I've decided to pick her up before the nap. It will give me less time, but I can just go to an earlier yoga class. The school has a camera system at the school that allows parents to watch their children. I will need to practice restraint with this one.

Okay, still on the topic of kids but not my child.......

I watched a re-cap of "Idol Gives Back" last night. UGH. I purposely didn't watch it this year b/c last year it just tore me up to see what some of those kids endure daily. 3 little kids sleeping on some dirty foam pad that looked to be about 3'x 4'. Their "home" was a one room shack with clothes and pots on the floor. And they are said to "have it good". How can I complain about ANYTHING in my life after seeing that?

Even before I had K, I have always had such an emotional reaction to such stories. Like crying for several days about it when I'd think of it. I get most of my news from CNN.com and I am absolutely HORRIFIED by some of the crimes against children I see or read. The last one I read was about how this women's boyfriend beat her 2 year old daughter TO DEATH with a remote control. When asked why, the boyfriend "didn't know". The worst part is that the mother was home and didn't do anything. I'd have killed him. KILLED him. Parents put kids in the clothes dryer, in the microwave, lock them out in the snow when they won't behave, put them in a car wash and a slew of other disgusting things. I think to myself how can it ever get so bad that you would do that to a child? Your own child! HOW? WHY? It just makes me so sick and upset.

Manic Monday

AAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Had a nice morning at the beach with daughter followed by a nice lunch on the beach with a few moms from our mom's group. Then.......she wouldn't nap! I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT function well when she does not nap. I literally flip out. So after 2 hours of her just chatting in her bed, I went and got her and then we went to Target - because I had no idea what else to do.

Our dishwasher - yeah, that great new one we bought - is not draining properly. There is water at the bottom of it that won't drain. I took it apart to see if it was clogged and it does not appear to be. WTF?

Now for the icing on the cake today. Our friends from New York were supposed to be here on Wednesday and stay through the weekend. Well they FLAKED! I was really looking forward to their visit and now with 2 days left, they decide they don't wanna come. They were coming to job/home search b/c they were going to move here for a year to see how they liked it. Apparently they got freaked out about the reality of it and now are not coming. I hate flakes. I really do. I think it is so selfish and inconsiderate to flake. I know it happens on occasion, those are forgivable but so many people flake on a regular basis that it makes it hard to plan things.

I've been hearing a lot of mom's talk about how much they LOVE being a stay at home mom lately. I can't say the same for me. Just when it gets really bad for me though, my daughter does something that just melts my heart and slaps me upside the head to make me thankful for her and to be able to stay home. I definitely can not say though, that I was meant for this. I'm just not. I just bought the Eckhart Tolle book A New Earth. I'm hoping this gives me yet another slap in the face.

Update

I really need to start blogging more often. It seems like when I finally do get around to doing it I have so much to say but feel that it sounds so disjointed that I just don't end up publishing the post. I'm doing it this time. Yay me.

A couple big things in the life of SambaMama........

1. We are now the owners of a plane. Yup. Some people drive to work. Some walk or ride a bike. My husband flies himself to work. The plane is out of state so in the next two weeks he'll be flying out there to pick it up and fly it back home. Oh great - just what I wanted! Another week alone with my daughter.

2. Daughter is now officially in a toddler bed! We had made the transition a couple weeks ago then regressed back to the crib after the hub didn't want her to not take her nap (she kept getting out). On Friday night, we converted her crib to a toddler bed again. No falling out, no crawling out. Saturday's nap was different. She came out of her room about 10 times or so before staying there and napping. Today's nap she stayed there from the beginning. Amazing. Everyone said it wasn't going to be a big deal and the novelty would wear off soon. I don't know why I ever even bother to fret about such things with her. Oh yeah - no crib rail either. I found this brilliant idea online. We got the pink one of course. I love it!! It looks cute, you can deflate it an travel with it, there is no putting together and it's a snap to put on and take off. Highly recommend!

Yesterday we did a bunch of household stuff like installing a peephole, fixing our banged up ghetto-ass screen door (we need a new one, but who has the time?), finding a new tax person (yeah, I know we are a little late), re-installing our baby gate at the top of the stairs (it fell off the wall on day 3!) and changing a few light bulbs. Today I made some fried rice for breakfast then we took daughter to the park and then to our local theme park for a couple hours, had lunch then put her down for a nap. As soon as I finish this I'm going to take a shower and then we're off to my aunts for a BBQ.

I'm reading this book off and on right now called Mother-Daughter Wisdom: Understanding the Crucial Link Between Mothers, Daughters and Health by Dr. Christiane Northrup. I've always been a huge fan of hers. She is just the right blend of Eastern and Western medicine for me. I came across a quote that I thought was perfect for me in this daily struggle of mine as a stay at home mom:

Remember that your daughter's soul picked you for her vehicle to get here. She knew what she was getting into. So just do the best you can and trust your (and your daughter's) Higher Power with the rest.

I think I'll end here. Oh wait - I had a dream last night that I was breastfeeding a newborn. Yeah, I loved it but I'm not sure the child was even mine. WEIRD!

It's the little things

I feel like most of my posts lately have been bitchy, bitchy, blah, blah, complain, complain!

As I was in the shower tonight I was thinking of the little things that I really cherish these days (that would have otherwise seemed pathetic to me just 2.5 years ago). Taking a shower. Eating a meal without one eye on a toddler. Grocery shopping alone. Driving alone. Shit - doing ANYthing alone. Getting a little buzzed with some girlfriends.

As for my constant food freakishness - I have been lurking on Flikr.com. They have some great food photography groups on there. I even LOVE looking at stuff I would never eat. Some of the photography is beautiful. It got me thinking if I could do it. I may start photographing some of the things I prepare and/or eat. There is even a group on Flikr called "Food Porn". So true.

Totally off topic - I really need a haircut. Okay, I'm going to bed. It's going to be a long (but fun) day tomorrow. The hub and I have a date on a cruise ship! No, we are not going anywhere, but we are having a private lunch on the ship and get to do a tour. At least we can pretend we are on one for a few hours. After that we are driving up to see our friends who live about an hour away.

Bitchy

My wonderful, lovely helpful husband is in Aspen snowboarding. He's been there since Saturday morning. I'm done. I need a break. I want a break. I deserve a break!!

I took my daughter to our local theme park today for a couple of hours. I bought her these platform flip flops so she had that extra 3/4" she needed to ride the roller coasters. After weekly trips to this place, we needed a change of scenery. We were riding the same 7 rides. It worked! We got to ride the coasters and had a blast. Thank goodness for platform flip-flops!

While at the park I was reminded of a few trends I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.
The first is skinny jeans. Who invented these? And WHY? In my opinion they do NOT flatter even the best figures. YUCK. And let's not even talk about MEN's skinny jeans. That is just gross. The second is when women wear a racer back/T-back shirt and a regular bra. Is this on purpose? I think it's so tacky to have your bra show so blatantly like that. Who wants to see your bra? And most of the time, the shirt is white and the bra is black or some contrasting color. Is that a trend? A mistake? I don't get it. Get a T-back bra, ladies.

Can you tell I'm bitchy?

Screwed!

So we have new insurance. Again. I go to pick up my birth control and discover that instead of a 3 month supply I can only get one month at a time. Okay. Annoying but I can deal. My old insurance allowed me to get 3 months for $45. Now? It's ONE MONTH for $40!! Holy shit. That's $120 for 3 months now vs. $40. Know what is costs if you have NO insurance? $160. Such a joke.

Food Aversions

Just to stay balanced, I wanted to write about foods/drinks that I DON'T like.

1. Coffee! Yes, coffee. And, no I don't even like the smell of it. ICK. GAG. And if I smell it on your breath, that is just about the worst thing EVER.

2. Fishy fish. I'm really trying here. I think I've come a long way. I eat halibut, cod, scallops, sashimi.........I know I've got a long way to go but seriously if it smells fishy I just can't put it in my mouth.

3. Game-y meat. Deer, lamb, duck. I'm told I'm not a true meat lover since I generally eat red meat medium-well. To me, duck is oily and fatty and deer and lamb just have this funky taste. I also won't eat most meat when it's been reheated. GAG. It tastes like metal to me. And obviously organ meats are out of the question. I will try anything once though. It all deserves a chance. Haven't met a tasty organ yet!

4. Skin. I don't get it. I can't stand eating chicken skin. It's just so GROSS.

5. Fat. Once again, I don't get it. And it PISSES me off to no end when people say to me, "that's the best part!" or "that's what gives it flavor!" Great then....YOU EAT IT!

6. Jello & custards. Never liked jello. Gelatinous foods just don't do it for me. Any kind of creamy tarts, custards, flan, creme brulee, cream pies........no thanks.

7. Peanut butter or cherry flavored anything. I feel nauseous at the mere thought of Reeses Pieces. I must have had some weird experience with them when I was little.

I think that just about covers it. I'm sure there's more but I'm starting to feel a little sick just writing about it.

Food Obsessed

Okay. I LOVE food. No, really you don't understand. I. LOVE. FOOD. I'm hungry first thing in the morning. During breakfast I dream about what I'm going to eat for lunch and dinner.

My latest obsession is Trader Joe's cracked wheat sourdough bread. Oh my holy crap. It is that good. Yeah, I know it's not whole grain and is probably not particularly good for me but I don't care right now. I only eat about 2 slices/day. Mind you, I just rediscovered it after years and years of not having it. I used to buy it in college then I just sort of forgot about it. Anyhow, since I'm always thinking about food, I thought I'd make a little list of only SOME of the foods I love and could never get sick of (and while I wait for the pasta - yes, it's whole wheat - to boil for dinner):

Trader Joe's Cracked Wheat Sourdough
Apples (gala or honeycrisp) dipped in caramel
cucumbers
radishes
broccoli
pasta
strawberries
milk chocolate
french fries
artichokes
green olives
red grapes
hearts of palm
avocados
finadene (over beef and chicken)
rice
green beans
red onions - actually any onions
Mexican hot chocolate

There's probably a ton more. That list was just off the top of my head.

On a not-so-psycho note, I have given up soda! I used to order it only when we'd go out to dinner and never keep it at home (cuz I'd drink it). I have been soda free for a few weeks now. I'm pretty proud of myself - it ain't easy. I love that nasty stuff. I will have one every once in awhile - just not yet. I want to be a month or two "clean" until I enjoy one every now and again. Sheesh, you'd think I was talking about crack or something.

FREEZE!

I thought this was very cool:

Say What???

On two occasions this past week my daughter said the following:

"I go play piano bitch"
What she meant: I go play on the piano BENCH

"I see baby's ASS"
What she meant: I see Babies R Us

It was SO HARD not to laugh! Both times I knew what she meant but if anyone else was with us, you would have definitely thought otherwise.

She loves to play on the piano bench. There is storage in it and she loves to play with the study books and flash cards. When we go to Target (which is often) we drive by Babies R Us. Her sense of direction is phenomenal. She definitely did not get that from me. Next time I get lost, I'll just ask her where I am.

It's OFFICIAL......

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have hit the TERRIBLE TWO's. And yes, it did seem to happen overnight. Oh JOY.

I don't deal well with public tantrums. AT ALL. I let her have them and don't give in but I get very embarrassed. It sucks. Welcome to motherhood Samba Mama.

The Potty Party

Okaaaaayyyyy.....So we were up last night until about 10:45pm setting up for this ridicoulous sounding soiree. Of course when I went to make sure the potty doll could pee when I gave her a bottle, it did not work. After no less than 1.5 hours of tinkering, both minor and major doll surgery and some poking we decided it was defective and that we would still use it, but not have it pee. We would have to just somehow put the water and/or poop (chocolate chips - yummy!) in the potty chair unbeknownst to her. Also, I couldn't find doll undies so we are using some old baby washcloths and a rubber band for doll undies.

Since the star of the party is taking her nap, I thought I'd give a little briefing. We decided to alter the format slightly and have my daughter potty train the doll until 10:30am and then we'd start on her. We decided this since she normally naps from 1-4 and the book says to start the child's training after her nap however, she would only get about 2.5 hrs of "potty practice" with this method. So, we started pushing the drinks and and salty snacks. All healthy ideas go out the window for the party. She was drinking pineapple juice, grape juice, chocolate milk and eating salted peanuts, salt & vinegar potato chips, cream cheese stuffed olives, chicken nuggets, and french fries. Oh JOY! So when we put her on the potty for the first time, she POOPED! Yep! The book said not to expect it, but I know her poop schedule and thought we'd give it a try. She also peed on the potty 3 times so far. She's had 3 accidents as well. All pee accidents (no poop accidents, thank goodness). This party is EXHAUSTING and a lot of work. She is, however, doing a fantastic job. We are really yelling and clapping and hugging and kissing and singing her praises when she does pee and poop on the potty.

So far, the best part is seeing her cute little bottom in her big girl underwear. I bought her Minnie Mouse and Hello Kitty themed undies and she seems to be thrilled with them. I hoping the afternoon goes just as well! I'm so glad it's a 3-day weekend. I think we picked a good time to do this. This evening after dinner, the grandparents and my aunt and uncle are coming by for some cake and a small celebration to congratulate the little one graduating to big girl undies. They all think we are ridiculous I'm sure - except for my husbands parent's who used this method on my husband and said it worked. I'm hoping his genetics play a key role in our success.

So I started this post two days ago. It's now Monday. We continued with the potty routine after daughter's nap. Overall, the day went well but........

I think I have to admit that she is just not ready. She would pee a little on the toilet and appeared to be trying to get some out which tells me that she understands what we want, but after she would pee just a little and we'd take her off the toilet, she would immediately have an accident. A FULL pee accident. Obviously she wasn't letting ALL of the pee out while on the toilet.

I'm not sure we'll do the party again as it was a lot of work. She had a blast with all the focus on her and she loves her little potty doll so much that she now wants to nap with her every day.

I was a tad annoyed with the realization that perhaps I jumped the gun on this, but that's okay, I'm in no hurry. So, all that to say..................

It was fun, a lot of work, but she is a still a bit too immature for such a step.

Milestones

So this weekend is my daughter's "potty party" where we will attempt (with much success I hope) to potty train her in one day. I've heard great things about it and I'm okay staying home all day for one weekend. It's really just Saturday but Sunday will likely be reinforcing her potty skills....heehee. Wish us/her luck!

She starts school in July and I'm beginning to freak a little. One of the other mom's in my daughter's gymnastics class was telling stories of her kids getting beat up in school and then a few other mom's chimed in with their $0.02 about how they pulled their child out of this preschool or that due to fighting. Is this normal? I might just go ape SHIT on anyone I see beating up my baby. I'm hoping it's a boy thing.

I know I'm weird but I've always found it weird to leave your child with a non-family member - even only for an hour. I know, I know. It's even hard for me to leave her with grandparents. Ugh. It sucks. I just hope the preschool transition isn't too traumatic. I really need to start some yoga and have some me time. On the flip side, I have really been enjoying my little precious a lot lately. She talks so much and is even quite affectionate at times. She now counts to 12, recognizes numbers 1-10, letters A-Z and can sing the ABC song. It's adorable. She also knows the colors yellow, red, blue, green, orange, black, brown and white.

The terrible two's have crept in slightly in the form of tantrums and a few battle of wills. They don't last long - thank GOD - but they do make me nervous and wonder just how bad it might get.

Am I the only one that thinks this is hilarious?

Double Standard BULLSHIT

I've encountered this too much to keep quiet about it!

The first is/was my decision to have no pain meds in childbirth. Oh my hell. I never thought I'd get so much shit for it like I did. Even today, over 2 'effin years after I've given birth, people still talk shit. Now I guess I don't really know what it's like on the other side, but from what I've heard from various friends, it's so much more acceptable to have had pain meds. First of all, I have no problem if you don't believe in this decision because it's a personal one, one that has to be made (in most cases) with lots of consideration. You'd think I'd get crap from women who had NO choice (ie, danger to mom or baby) but Nooooooooooooooooo, I get it from women who decided even before they got pregnant that they wanted meds. Now, I don't judge anyone for wanting pain meds so why do I get judged? I also make it clear that if there was a problem or I felt as though I just couldn't deal, then you bet your ass I'd have asked for some pain relief. I don't think or act like I'm better than anyone for doing it, so why is it fair that I take it but I'll be damned if I want to dish it out? One girl actually said to me once, "Well I wasn't trying to be some hero like you were." Are you kidding me? Honey, as far as I'm concerned YOU'RE the hero for taking a needle in your spine. I also once got, "Good luck with that." when I told a "friend" of my plans just after she had given birth but before I had. Now, if I would have said to her, "You are such a baby," or "You could have hurt your baby or you," I would have been ripped a new one. I guess it's only okay if the masses agree with you. Anyhow, there is a new movie coming out about the amount of medical intervention done in birth in America: The Business of Being Born

Okay, second rant.
I'm a stay at home mom. I don't care if you are not. I don't judge you if you are not. I have my reasons, you have yours. I can talk about it without getting judgmental or mad so why can't you? Don't tell me you wish you could afford it. I know plenty of families who struggle to make ends meet every month but do it because they made the choice and the sacrifices that come with it. This job is HARD. I don't need to feel judged. I think us women need to support each other in our decisions even if they differ. We all have our own issues and struggles and the last thing anyone wants or needs is to feel stupid or judged by theirs. There is enough women on women hating going around.

Being Poor

Read THIS. It will break your heart.

Productive morning

Before daughter's nap I managed to:
Unload dishwasher, clean my room, clean daughter's room, vacuum family room (while holding daughter - she freaks), make breakfast, eat breakfast, make lunch, eat lunch, clean up kitchen, re-load dishwasher, do 2 loads of laundry, fold 2 loads of laundry, start a 3rd load of laundry, deposit a check at the bank, mail a package to my brother in Japan, collect trash, help daughter learn her letters and numbers (she can now count to 12 and can identify almost the whole alphabet!)

After I put daughter down for nap:
Scheduled carpet, stairs and couch to be professionally cleaned, found new dentist and made apt, found new primary care doc.

Now I'm going to eat a mini 100 Grand candy bar and settle into my book. I"m feeling pretty accomplished so far today. Daughter's nap schedule has been screwy once again but she is sleeping now so I can't complain. I even see the sun trying to break through the cloudy sky for the first time since Friday. It's not a bad Monday.