My F@#$%* Eyes

For the past year I have been seeing a retinal specialist. I was referred to him because 2 months after I had my daughter I was diagnosed with a macular hemorrhage caused by myopic macular degeneration. When I learned of my diagnosis I began to cry in his office. He does not have the most gentle bedside manner. I cried mostly because I was told I would have to stop breastfeeding for 2 weeks to a month after I received a drug injection in my eye. The drug is called Avastin and is not yet FDA approved for injection into the eye. Avastin is an anti-cancer drug that had shown great promise in clearing up macular hemorrhages. I was pretty devastated for about a week but got the injection (yes, the needle does go directly into the eyeball). I stopped breastfeeding for 3 weeks, the drug worked like a charm, and thank God I was able to resume breastfeeding with no problems!

Today at my eye appointment, he said I should consider Lasik surgery to correct my vision. I should say re-correct as I have had Lasik 2 other times. My vision before Lasik was -9 in one eye and -10 in the other. In other words.......BAD!!! Six months later, my eyes regressed slightly and I was able to get it done again at no charge. That was in November of 2000. My vision now is about 20/80 and I think I am going to go for round 3. This is frustrating. I hope the third time is a charm.

I am told that I have a 50/50 chance of having another macular hemorrhage. I am his youngest patient (31) - next in line is a man who is 54. That's nice. When I go in for appointments I get strange looks and the only magazines in his office are AARP and Senior Living - I'm not kidding. I am not afraid of all these procedures but I am afraid that one day I will go blind and not be able to see my daughter. Please pray for my eyes!