Surgery consult

The dreaded apt. has passed.

We waited in the waiting room a long time (this REALLY pisses husband off) before finally getting to see the doc. He seems great, very patient, answers all questions, been an ENT for over 20 years...blah blah blah. Daughter did NOT appreciate him looking in her ears and mouth though or even listening to her heart. He asked about her health (which is fabulous) and did a mini-physical (no probs) then explained the ~30 minute surgery and what he would do. Husband asked if there are risks if we wait and he said perhaps her memory - meaning if we do it now, she won't have a memory of it, whereas if we wait until she is 3 or over she may have more trauma. Doc went on to explain that she will cry and protest even now, especially when we "hand her off to the nurse to go into the operating room". That was it for me. Once he said that, it was kind of hard for me to focus on anything else. ALL I could think about was my screaming daughter being pulled from my arms, taken to an operating room with strangers, a mask put over face, and the terror she might feel. I don't care if she won't remember dammit! Husband does not like the idea of general anesthesia even though the doctor said that once they are over 6 months old the risk is the same as getting in a car accident.

His nurse is supposed to call us w/in the week to schedule her surgery. As we left the doctor tonight, we both were not sure of it. We picked up some food on the way home but neither of us could really eat. The more we talked about it, the more we talked ourselves out of it. I don't think we could live with ourselves if something happened. ESPECIALLY since there is nothing wrong with her health. This is a cosmetic procedure. A part of me is relieved but a part of me still feels it is looming over our heads. We agreed to revisit it at her next dentist apt. and ask more questions. Perhaps when she is older (like 5 or more) we can reason with her and give her a choice. Perhaps we are making the wrong decision in waiting. I don't know. All I know is that I can't possibly allow an O.R. nurse take my 15 month old, scared, crying daughter from my arms. The thought of it makes me ill. I just can't do it. And niether can my husband.

Sometimes when I think about all the difficult decisions we'll have to make in the future (perhaps not as difficult as this), I think, "I'm so NOT ready for this!" Too bad I guess. In the grand scheme of things this is not that big of a deal and I count my blessings that my daughter is healthy. I guess God really does give you only what he knows you can handle.