101 things about me

1. I'm 5'3"
2. I don't like to drive
3. I've never been in a car accident
4. I've never smoked a cigarette
5. I love turtles, lizards, owls, and giraffes
6. I'm secretly afraid of snow - I don't know why
7. I love the smell of the airport
8. I find airplane and hospital food to be pretty good
9. I can't make a taco with my tongue
10. I LOVE to dance
11. I love to organize things
12. I'm a homebody but I do love to travel - go figure
13. I can't stand coffee - even the smell of it
14. I am a hot chocolate connaiseur (my favorite is spicy Mayan)
15. I like getting my teeth cleaned
16. I can drive a stick shift (I miss it actually)
17. I am very bow-legged
18. I have larger than average pupils
19. My OB/GYN says I have birthing hips
20. I've never had a yeast infection (yay!)
21. I like my body
22. I've never had menstrual cramps
23. I've never understood why women dreaded the annual pap (it takes like a minute!)
24. I HATE rectal exams though - I'm grumpy the rest of the day
25. I loved being pregnant and am looking forward to it again
26. I am scared to have 2 kids to take care of - the logistics seem impossible!
27. I tried out for the T.V. show "The Amazing Race"
28. This is my second marriage
29. Pasta is my ultimate comfort food followed by warm chocolate chip cookies
30. I hate white chocolate
31. I TiVo way too many shows
32. My mother is one of 8 children, my grandmother is one of 13
33. I almost always hear music in my head
34. I like waving to the people who sell newspapers at intersections
35. Large crowds make me somewhat uncomfortable but I don't avoid them
36. I'm afraid of fire
37. I'm afraid of the ball
38. I'm a daddy's girl
39. I think my dad is the BEST father EVER but I don't think he's a great husband.
40. I miss my brother (he lives in another country)
41. I used to think the sound of someone throwing up was kind of funny - then I had a
bulemic roommate in college and now it freaks me out when I hear someone throw up
42. I resent my in-laws relationship with money - they just don't know how to manage
it
43. I'm very picky about fat on meat - I will cut off every last bit
44. When I see fashion shows on TV's I wonder, "who in the hell wears that??"
45. I love photography
46. My eyes are not great
47. I am tone deaf - really BAD
48. I love to watch my daughter sleep
49. I love to watch my daughter suck a pacifier
50. I hate the word "binky" - we call the pacifier a "suck-suck" LOL
51. I actually liked high school
52. I HATED junior high
53. I wish I was not so sensitive
54. I always tell my Dad "I love you" before we hang up the phone. I started doing it
when my parents got divorced and my Dad moved out. I'm glad it's a habit now.
55. Broccoli is my favorite vegetable
56. Cucumbers are my second favorite
57. I love doughnuts (glazed, chocolate, maple - you name it!)
58. I wanted to work at the dump when I was little
59. I also wanted to be a waitress and a cheerleader (done both). I aimed high!
60. My first kiss wasn't until 16 and I lost my virginity at 19 (my parents would be
proud)
61. I used to have nightmares of getting pregnant in high school - this was great
birth control
62. I've never tried any other drug except marijuana
63. I'm not good at math
64. I'm good at geography
65. I've pet a baby gray whale in the wild in a tiny fishing boat
66. I've drawn blood from the flipper of a baby elephant seal
67. I can't say the word "anus" without laughing
68. It bugs me when people call soda "pop"
69. I've had LASIK surgery twice and I still wear glasses
70. I love BINGO
71. I'm rarely thirsty - I have to force myself to drink
72. I like to drink beer from a bottle, not a glass
73. I've done a high ropes course
74. I loved breasfeeding my daughter
75. I like going to movies alone
76. I have excellent credit
77. I don't enjoy manicures or pedicures
78. I don't like people touching my feet or ankles
79. I think Christina Aguilera has one of the best voices ever
80. I love soda but limit myself
81. My mom is not as nurturing as I am
82. I like to mountain bike
83. I've had sex in public (outside a play during intermission)
84. I like my steak medium-well
85. I don't eat egg yolks unless they are scrambled
86. I don't eat sushi but I LOVE Japanese food
87. I'm allergic to Dextramethorphan (the active ingredient in cough medicines - it
sucks)
88. I love avocados
89. I don't like to go into banks - I'm always afraid they are going to be robbed
90. I've gone SCUBA diving at night - very cool
91. I can't spend all day at the mall even though I'm a woman
92. I sometimes have a hard time living in the moment b/c I'm always thinking ahead
93. Yoga makes me feel so healthy
94. I don't drink milk unless I'm eating chocolate
95. I broke my wrist twice in a year
96. I've had a flex-sigmoidoscopy and it SUCKED!
97. I have seen the inside of my large intestines thanks to the sigmoidoscopy
98. I hated the movie "Fargo"
99. Austin Powers is NOT my kind of humor....*BARF*
100. I was raised Catholic
101. I need to get back to reality and clean the house!

Surgery consult

The dreaded apt. has passed.

We waited in the waiting room a long time (this REALLY pisses husband off) before finally getting to see the doc. He seems great, very patient, answers all questions, been an ENT for over 20 years...blah blah blah. Daughter did NOT appreciate him looking in her ears and mouth though or even listening to her heart. He asked about her health (which is fabulous) and did a mini-physical (no probs) then explained the ~30 minute surgery and what he would do. Husband asked if there are risks if we wait and he said perhaps her memory - meaning if we do it now, she won't have a memory of it, whereas if we wait until she is 3 or over she may have more trauma. Doc went on to explain that she will cry and protest even now, especially when we "hand her off to the nurse to go into the operating room". That was it for me. Once he said that, it was kind of hard for me to focus on anything else. ALL I could think about was my screaming daughter being pulled from my arms, taken to an operating room with strangers, a mask put over face, and the terror she might feel. I don't care if she won't remember dammit! Husband does not like the idea of general anesthesia even though the doctor said that once they are over 6 months old the risk is the same as getting in a car accident.

His nurse is supposed to call us w/in the week to schedule her surgery. As we left the doctor tonight, we both were not sure of it. We picked up some food on the way home but neither of us could really eat. The more we talked about it, the more we talked ourselves out of it. I don't think we could live with ourselves if something happened. ESPECIALLY since there is nothing wrong with her health. This is a cosmetic procedure. A part of me is relieved but a part of me still feels it is looming over our heads. We agreed to revisit it at her next dentist apt. and ask more questions. Perhaps when she is older (like 5 or more) we can reason with her and give her a choice. Perhaps we are making the wrong decision in waiting. I don't know. All I know is that I can't possibly allow an O.R. nurse take my 15 month old, scared, crying daughter from my arms. The thought of it makes me ill. I just can't do it. And niether can my husband.

Sometimes when I think about all the difficult decisions we'll have to make in the future (perhaps not as difficult as this), I think, "I'm so NOT ready for this!" Too bad I guess. In the grand scheme of things this is not that big of a deal and I count my blessings that my daughter is healthy. I guess God really does give you only what he knows you can handle.

Dream

My dream last night was that I had moved to New York City and hated it! My husband was a janitor and was training me to clean this really horrible public bathroom down in a dark subway system. I was to work the graveyard shift. In my dream, I was walking home in the dark alone along the streets and was terrified. What does that mean? Husband just laughed when I told him about my dream. I'm happy it's not my reality. I would really like to visit NYC, though not as a graveyard shift working subway janitor.

Weekend

So, my sweet tooth is still so out of control...what is wrong with me????!!!

We took my daughter to the zoo on Saturday. Talk about crowded. She is still more interested in people watching than the animals. Soon enough. She also thinks everything is either a dog or a monkey. It's hilarious.

Daughter seems to be back to one nap again. She slept in until about 8am this morning then didn't go down for a nap until noon! It's now almost 3:30 and she's still asleep. I've gotten a lot done though so I'm not complaining. Hubby is gone tonight so we are going to my mom's for some chicken soup - I'm really looking forward to that. I told her she needs to start acting like a true grandma and always have some cookies or pie baking when we arrive ;)

Daughter's surgery consult is tomorrow. I'm kind of freaked out about the whole thing. Please keep us in your thoughts.

Naps, work, food

Well, for the past 3 days daughter has been back to 2 naps (10-12, 4-5:30). Just when I think I have it all figured out! *Sigh*

I just realized that my husband has not had dinner with us yet this week. He worked late on Tuesday night (got home at 11pm), spent the night on Wednesday night and last night he didn't get home until 7. The latest I can feed my daughter is 6pm. I know it has been hard on him. He is seriously looking into purchasing a plane to fly himself up there. It is only a 40 minute flight and since he has his pilot's license, it seems worth it. It a lot of $$ though. I would like to pay off both of our cars first. It's so frustrating. I don't want to move closer to his work because I don't like the area and it's considerably more expensive AND we are so close to all the grandparents now (20 minutes at the most).

I made a really good chili last night with ground turkey, black beans and kidney beans and topped with avocado and sour cream. I also made some really great cornbread muffins. Daughter wasn't that into it. Oh well. She liked picking out the beans and eating those.

Okay, I need to go take a shower. TGIF!!

Dinner Party

We had my old roommate and her husband over on Sunday. They are expecting their first baby. I have not seen them since before I was pregnant! Anyhow, we didn't care for each other much while living together - it's amazing how our relationship is better now that we don't live together!

They are vegetarians so I made a salad with avocado, radish, carrot, cucumber and baby greens. For an appetizer, I made a bruschetta with olive oil, balsamic vineagar, grape tomatoes, green onions, avocado and buffalo mozzarella all served on some really great crusty bread. It's so good. Make it.

My husband wanted to do the main course - eggplant parmesan. I have only tried it once and didn't care for it then. Well, I found a recipe where you bake it instead of fry it and I still didn't like it. I just don't like eggplant. It has a soggy bread consistency to me and I can't stand that texture. Eeew. Everyone else seemed to like it (or they said they did and cleaned their plate).

For dessert (the best part) I made mini napoleans. I used puff pastry and topped with cool whip, nutella and strawberries. Puff pastry rocks.

Keeping up with a toddler

I'm finding this to be VERY difficult as of late. It's amazing how creative mothers must be. I feel as though I have run out of ways and things to do to entertain my daughter. My experience so far tells me that this will pass so I'm hoping it's just one of my phases. She always wants to be outside and that is great but I get tired of chasing her everywhere to make sure she is safe. Today she was fascinated with the mud in one of our planters. Of course, a big heap ended up in her mouth and hair. Yay. Then she ate some tree bark, some leaves and some sort of seed pod. You would think I'm staring off not paying attention but I am standing right there. It is amazing how quick she is.

I really need to buy her one of those big plastic toy houses to go on the lawn so she has somewhere safer to play in.

The eye technician called me today (she left a message - I was putting my daughter down for a nap). They really want me to come back. She says I won't have to deal with the front desk at all. I don't know how that is possible though. I don't even want to *see* that woman. I'm sort of conflicted. I don't want to punish the rest of them, but I feel like I need to make a statement. I don't know what to do. I want my contacts - but do I want them for $365 and more importantly, do I want contacts from them???? Ugh.

My daughter may be back on two naps. Who knows? See? Just when she goes to one nap, she switches again. I'm not always such a go-with-the-flow person and motherhood most definitely is testing me.

Husband just informed me he will be home late tonight. He's spending the night tomorrow night too. This sucks sometimes. I'm trying to be understanding but right now I'm having a hard time.

Woohoo!

I just got carded at the grocery store when I bought some beer! I'm a happy mama.

Friday & Saturday

I feel like I need to write about a few things.

On Friday afternoon I had an appointment to pick up my new pair of contact lenses at the eye doctor. This would be only the 3rd time I have been there and the first two times were not so fun. I found the woman at the front to be incredibly rude and unprofessional and the rest of the staff broke a lot of patient confidentiality laws. I could hear them whispering about my diagnosis, my insurance, my age, etc. The woman at the front repeatedly yelled from her desk for me to give her my husbands social security number - mind you I am sitting in the waiting room with other patients. When I was fitted for my contacts I was told they would be about $65 but they would call me when they ordered them to give me an exact quote. Well, they didn't. They called me when my contacts came in (a week later) and informed me they were $365!!!! Ummmm, hello??????!!!!!!!!!!! I called my insurance and they said they would pay for part of it. Still, I'm pissed and feel I don't HAVE to have them especially since they ordered them BEFORE telling me of a $300 difference in what they originally said.

Okay, so that's a little background. My apt. on Friday was at 1:15pm. I got there at 1:08pm and the door is locked and the lights are out. I call the office (the call forwards to their other office) and a very nice woman tells me they are on their way but she will call them to let them know I am waiting outside. No big deal. They arrive at 1:15 and let me in. No greeting. No hello, how are you? Nothing. I sign in and sit down. I then hear the technician and the front desk woman talking about my insurance. She then yells across the room for the optician and says, "George, can you come here and tell me if this girl gets any money for her contacts, I can't tell - I don't think she does, but she says she does." I'm thinking to myself, does she not see me sitting right here? Again she asks for my hubby's SSN. Her and the tech talked about my insurance for 30 minutes. Mind you, I can hear them and I am STILL in the waiting room. Another gentleman walks in who has a 1:30 apt and he gets called right in. Finally at 2pm I asked the wicked witch when I will be called and she says "right now". This was after she argued with me that I don't qualify for even a partial insurance payment because I've used all my benefit. Mind you again, that this is the FIRST time I have even used this insurance. It's not WHAT she said but HOW she said it.
So it's 2pm and I can feel my face turn red with rage and I'm starting to cry. I have never been treated so rudely in my WHOLE LIFE. I am not one of those annoying people who is always complaining of poor customer service. I feel I am always treated well and I also understand that if I am not that everyone has bad days. I make allowance for this. But I don't make allowance for pure rudeness and unprofessionalism 3 TIMES IN A ROW!

After sitting there for a moment with tears welling up in my eyes, I decide to walk out. As I'm walking out, I can't believe what I'm doing but I know I can't be there anymore. I call hubby in tears and he says he will handle it. Hubby then calls, gets the bitch on the phone, gets a lot of rudeness then gets handed off to the tech who apologizes profusely.

Here's what I'm going to do: I am going to write a letter to the doctor explaining what happened so he knows that he is losing a patient (and $365 that they will have to swallow) because the woman he hired for "customer service" is such a miserable, bitchy, unprofessional human being (and that is being nice). I am going to ask my retinal specialist for recommendations.

Okay, on to better things! Our Friday night date was great. The food was not the best but who cares? When we got home we even watched Survivor on TiVo. Gotta love TiVo. Today was even better. We drove down to the water early this morning as it was such a gorgeous day. On the way home we stopped at some GORGEOUS model homes near our house. I LOVE doing this. Get this - the kitchens come equipped with Thermador appliances as a standard feature!! Double ovens, warming drawer, $8000 top front vented extra large refrigerator, 6 burner cook top with built in griddle, walk in pantry, butler prep area, wine cellar and beverage refrigerator! I was in HEAVEN! Of course we can't afford all of that but a girl can dream. Then we came home and put our daughter down for her nap while I lounged outside in our hammock in the sun and read some magazines while my husband worked on his laptop on the patio table. At 3pm we dropped off my daughter at my dad's house and we headed to Home Depot to pick a few things then went to a park and walked around the lake, held hands, and watched the ducks and turtles. Back to my Dad's where daughter did great, then off to dinner with my Dad (for his birthday). Now, at home, I have just finished watching a cheesy teeny-bop movie called "The Princess and the Barrio Boy" I loved every minute of it. It was such a GREAT, full day. Maybe this one nap a day thing isn't so bad on the weekends. We certainly got to do a lot more and the gorgeous weather was such a bonus.

I'm back!

I wrote a nice long post yesterday but something happened and the whole thing got deleted. At the time, I didn't feel like writing the whole thing over again. So here I am again.

Husband just called and told me that he will be staying another night up at work. He was gone last night too. I'm bummed. Mostly because it's Valentine's Day and I'm feeling sorry for myself. Oh well. We are supposed to go out Friday night to a nice dinner. I hope it works out.

I am finally fully recovered from that nasty stomach flu. I went from almost 115 lbs. to 111 lbs. in just a day and a half. I am still only at 112 lbs which is CRAZY because I have the WORST sweet tooth right now. I have been indulging that sweet EVERY night for the past week too! Things like strawberries with Nutella, rice crispy treats and s'mores have rounded out my night. You'd think I was pregnant or something - but I'm not. In fact, I am on my second cycle of NuvaRing and I must say I love it. It is so easy to use.

My mom really pissed me off last weekend. For some reason, I have a hard time admitting when my parents make me mad. Basically, she was supposed to watch my daughter for a couple of hours on Saturday or Sunday. She told me she wasn't sure if she could as she was still feeling ill (she caught our stomach flu). I said okay, just call me and let me know. Well, she never called and on Sunday night I called her and found out she was at the f'in casino. I was so mad and I let her know.

After much resistance, my mom started taking some Prozac. She has been struggling over the past year with feeling depressed. It is due to menopause and she has been trying all of the natural remedies but none of them have worked. I know she feels funny about taking an anti-depressant but you know, if nothing else works, you gotta do what you gotta do. Everyone deserves to be happy. I hope menopause does not have the same effect on me. Ugh.

My daughter seems to have made the transition to one nap. Contrary to what everyone says - it is NOT easier. I have to cram in dinner prep, cleaning, laundry, etc, with no break. Oh well. I have a great life and should not complain.

I am out of things to say......but I promise to try and blog more often.

The worst 2.5 days of my life....

....were from Thursday afternoon to Sunday morning.

I unfortunately got that NASTY stomach flu that has been going around. It came on so suddenly on Thursday evening and I was up all night b/c it was coming out BOTH ENDS (sorry) every 5-10 minutes ALL NIGHT LONG. My daughter also vomited 3 times in her crib and my poor husband had to deal with it as I was busy puking myself. It didn't even seem to bother my daughter! CRAZY. I avoid throwing up at all costs. On Friday both my parents had to take off work and come help me in shifts on Friday b/c my husband had to be at work. My stomach was in constant knots, I had a HUGE migraine, my whole body ached so that I could not get comfortable and I was so gassy. So gross. My daughter seemed fine on Friday but on Saturday morning she was completely lethargic. This scared the SHIT out of me. She would just lay there and do nothing and was super sleepy. We called the doc and since she didn't have a fever, they told us to just keep her warm and hydrated. She was fine by noon.

Now today, Monday, I am just now starting to get my appetite and energy back. I have lost 4 pounds too! I'm so glad it didn't seem to hit my daughter as hard as me - must be because she got the flu shot and I didn't. Lesson learned. I hope none of you get it. It's one of the worst things I have ever experienced.

Stuff

I just found out one of my good friends and his wife are having a GIRL! Yay for them! Of course, as a dad, he is flipping out and fast-forwarding to her first date.

One of the things I enjoy doing when my daughter is asleep for the night and my husband is away for the night is watching TLC. A couple of nights ago I saw two shows that blew my mind. One was called something like "I eat 33,000 calories a day" which of course sparked my interest. They chronicled the lives of 4 people who are morbidly obese and are (obviously) addicted to food. One man who weighed 700lb (no, I'm not kidding) had been in bed (literally) for 10 YEARS! His family cooks all his meals for him AND he orders take-out in the middle of the night and lowers the money down in a bucket (he lives on the 5th floor) while the delivery person sends up the food. He eats an average of 14,500 calories per day. They listed his daily foods and it was things like 8 steaks, 6 fried eggs, 16 chocolate bars, 3 plates of fried rice, 4 bowls of french fries, 10 bags of potato chips. HOLY SHIT! GROSS. It's sad because he is too fat to exercise so he is basically eating himself to death.

The other show (don't know the name) was about a family with 12 kids. Wow. All home-schooled. Crazy. I secretly envy these parents as I think it would be so cool to have that many kids. I just have to settle for how ever many I have - but trust me, it won't be 12.

Yesterday was a rough one. My daughter had not one but two bouts of explosive diarrhea that smelled SO bad and got everywhere (my jeans, sweater, wrist, her thighs, her pants, her sweater, our carpet, her changing pad) and just before her 2nd explosion, I got a migraine. I fed her dinner, bathed her, put her to bed then I went straight to bed at 7:30pm. Husband came home at 10:45pm and I was out of it. Ugh.