It is! I was talking about this with a friend the other day. She made the comment that after the birth of her child, she felt "cheated" that no one told her how difficult it would be. Not that she wasn't ecstatic about her fresh new baby, but with hormones all out of whack, lack of sleep and sore, bleeding nipples it can all be so overwhelming. We both concluded that we likely would not have listened anyway. I guess that's the beauty of it. As difficult as it is, no one can explain just how much you could possibly love this new life you have created. The intensity is incredible. This coming from a girl who was never into kids in the first place.
I took daughter to the playground today and was suddenly fearful of her growing years. As my daughter was "walking" towards a ball on the playground, a young girl ran over and exclaimed, "That's MY ball. Don't let your baby touch it!!". Yikes. Now I'm no dummy, I know toddlers go through the "mine" phase but it just made me think about all the "stuff" she will go through such as cliques and peer pressure. It seems to only get more difficult for the younger generation. Ugh. Sometimes I think I must be nuts for wanting another but I don't want my daughter to be an only child. I miss being pregnant. I LOVED being pregnant. There is no greater feeling than to know you are growing another human being from your body, inside your body and then nature will allow you to push your baby into the world. Now, I am no hippie type, but giving birth is nothing short of awesome. I gave birth naturally in that I had no pain meds (I took a hypnobirthing class that husband lovingly calls "hippiebirthing") but I did have to have ptocin (after 2.5hrs of pushing they needed to make my contractions stronger) and magnesium chloride (to help lower my blood pressure). I can honestly say I felt no pain. Intense? Oh SHIT, YES! But not pain.
*As a side note, my daughter was 8 days after her due date and since I did NOT want to be induced, I did all the natural stuff our doula suggested: castor oil (yeesh!), sex, accupuncture, sweeping of membranes, and finally an accupuncture massage where my water broke right in the middle of it.
I feel kind of strange typing all this detail. I mean, does anyone read this?
I am ready to start Bikram Yoga again. I know that heat will KICK MY ASS for the first week but man, no other workout has ever made me feel so good. I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight and size but my body is definitely different. Everything is uh.....redistributed.
Until next time, strangers.
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1 comment:
Wow, I totally enjoy reading your blog... thanks for sharing your experiences!
Reading about your giving birth is amazing! your water broke in the middle of hte accupuncture massage? wild!
Have fun at Bikram! Its been a few years since I've been to a class, so I know what you mean about the heat! ;)
PS - what exactly do you mean when you say you're back to your pre-pregnancy weight, but everything is 'redistributed'? do I even want to know?? lol!
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