LOSER!

Oh man......I am feeling very guilty for not going to yoga. My husband and I met a friend for dinner instead! Dinner was great and my daughter was so good all through dinner. She is exhausted!

I have made a pact with myself to go FOR SURE on Saturday (no class tomorrow) and I will work extra hard.

And yes, I am still obsessing over strollers. This is crazy. I'm such a mom. It is so hard to find the perfect one. I was looking at the Bumbleride Flyer today. My husband just laughs at me. 2 years ago, I never thought I would be doing this much research on a f@#$%n stroller. I need help!

Bitch Session

I need to whine....is that okay? Of course it is! It's my blog dammit!

Looks like my plan of starting yoga tonight is not going to happen. My daughter has a cold :(
She didn't really nap today. I am happy to say that she made it a year and 3 weeks without ever getting sick. HOWEVER.......I must say I'm a little annoyed that she is sick on a day when I wanted to go to yoga for the first time. I'm selfish I guess.

I hate fall!!! This weather is driving me crazy. It's clear and sunny out but COLD, DRY and WINDY. Three things that irritate me. I swear I'm half lizard. My skin is dry as it is, I don't need 0% humidity and wind to make it worse. My whole body feels chapped. How could people like this season? Ew.

I love Christmas, but not the shopping. I REALLY hate to shop. The female shopping gene must have mutated in me. Bitch, bitch, bitch..........I sound like a real pleasant person today don't I?

Turkey, CNN, Strollers

I'm working on my 5th turkey sandwich since Thanksgiving.

I just scanned CNN's headlines and found "Mom microwaves 3 week old baby". I'm not going to read the article because that headline is enough. Some people really piss me off. Not that this is an excuse - but I hope she is certifiably insane because if she is not then I want to microwave her.

My latest obsession is which stroller to purchase. I have the BOB Revolution that I use daily on walks with my daughter, the Maclaren Volo which is great through airports and quick trips, and finally I'm embarrassed to say that we have the Bugaboo Gecko. I hate it now. I'm trying to sell it. I feel like such a yuppie idiot when I use it and try not to make eye contact with people! I get a lot of compliments on it, but let me just say.....no stroller is worth $680 (and that my friends, is the least of expensive of the 3 models)!! Ridiculous. I don't know what I was thinking. I am looking at the Pliko P3 by Peg Perego. I hear good things about it and I think I may test it out at the store.

Books, etc.

I'm reading The Power of One right now. I am into it now, but thought it was a slow start. I've recently decided to expand my library to include fiction. In doing so, I have found some great books and some not-so-great. I enjoyed the Dan Brown series, Life of Pi, Secret Life of Bees, & The Alchemist to name a few. Still sitting next to my bed and yet to be read is The Feminine Mystique and Me Talk Pretty One Day (I think this is non-fiction). I recently finished One Hundred Years of Solitude......uuuuuuuuugh. It took me forever. Was it just me or did every third character in the book have the same name? I think I learned that magical mysticism is not my cup of tea in books. I'm looking for some more good books to add to my growing pile next to my bed. Any recommendations?

On to another topic. I'm struggling with the decision to have another child. On the one hand, I don't want my daughter to be an only child and now that husband and I will no longer be "parent rookies" it seems to me that baby #2 won't be so new and awkward in the beginning. On the other hand, I have had a really hard time being a stay-at-home mom. I love raising my daughter but I find it exhausting and feel as though I have lost a part of my identity. I don't feel as free. I always have one eye on her and that is draining. I'm not sure that I can handle two little ones. Husband says, "let's get a nanny" especially since my job is really wanting me to return. Problem is, I can't imagine leaving her with a stranger. I don't have a problem with working moms, in fact, I wish I was able to get a nanny and get out of my own way. But I can't. Balancing being a mom and wife while remembering my identity has proven very difficult for me. How did the stay-at-home mom watching soaps and eating bon-bons ever get started???? I barely have time to get dressed and feed myself and I only have ONE child! Am I just terrible at this? I must be.

I'm staring Bikram Yoga again this week. I have not been since I was 8 weeks pregnant. Pray for me!

Real Age

Husband and I just did the "Real Age" test on the internet. You can do it here. Pretty interesting test. I am 31.4 years old and according to the test my real age is 27.8. That's great I guess. After you get emailed your results, you can check and see why your score is what it is and how to lower it. My husband is 30 and his "real age" is 40! Yikes! Someone needs some exercise and a better diet. He is dreading the day I become a nutritionist (which is not far off) and his fried pork chops - bacon - soda - pizza w/ extra cheese days will be numbered!!!!

Mommyhood is a rough ride

It is! I was talking about this with a friend the other day. She made the comment that after the birth of her child, she felt "cheated" that no one told her how difficult it would be. Not that she wasn't ecstatic about her fresh new baby, but with hormones all out of whack, lack of sleep and sore, bleeding nipples it can all be so overwhelming. We both concluded that we likely would not have listened anyway. I guess that's the beauty of it. As difficult as it is, no one can explain just how much you could possibly love this new life you have created. The intensity is incredible. This coming from a girl who was never into kids in the first place.

I took daughter to the playground today and was suddenly fearful of her growing years. As my daughter was "walking" towards a ball on the playground, a young girl ran over and exclaimed, "That's MY ball. Don't let your baby touch it!!". Yikes. Now I'm no dummy, I know toddlers go through the "mine" phase but it just made me think about all the "stuff" she will go through such as cliques and peer pressure. It seems to only get more difficult for the younger generation. Ugh. Sometimes I think I must be nuts for wanting another but I don't want my daughter to be an only child. I miss being pregnant. I LOVED being pregnant. There is no greater feeling than to know you are growing another human being from your body, inside your body and then nature will allow you to push your baby into the world. Now, I am no hippie type, but giving birth is nothing short of awesome. I gave birth naturally in that I had no pain meds (I took a hypnobirthing class that husband lovingly calls "hippiebirthing") but I did have to have ptocin (after 2.5hrs of pushing they needed to make my contractions stronger) and magnesium chloride (to help lower my blood pressure). I can honestly say I felt no pain. Intense? Oh SHIT, YES! But not pain.
*As a side note, my daughter was 8 days after her due date and since I did NOT want to be induced, I did all the natural stuff our doula suggested: castor oil (yeesh!), sex, accupuncture, sweeping of membranes, and finally an accupuncture massage where my water broke right in the middle of it.

I feel kind of strange typing all this detail. I mean, does anyone read this?

I am ready to start Bikram Yoga again. I know that heat will KICK MY ASS for the first week but man, no other workout has ever made me feel so good. I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight and size but my body is definitely different. Everything is uh.....redistributed.

Until next time, strangers.

PS3 & stuff

So my daytime date with husband was great. Lunch was relaxing and the movie was the perfect combination of gadgets, cheese and violence. I like the new James Bond. He's better than Pierce Brosnan in my opinion. Daughter did great with my mom and even took a 2.5 hr. nap with no protest. I think she is transitioning from 2 naps a day to 1. Everyone tells me this is a great thing but I am going to reserve judgement for now.

So, something is bugging me. I asked my husband why all these people don't just wait until next week to get the new Play Station 3 so they can avoid long lines, rioting and getting shot. He then informs me that Sony purposefully under produces these things. One would think that once they see that people are getting physically injured (or dying) they would f'ing make enough. Maybe it's easy for me to say because I don't give a shit about PS3 or any video game. Okay, enough of that.

Hola!

Why am I samba mama? Well....BD (before daughter) I was a dancer of sorts. International Latin Ballroom to be exact and the samba was my favorite dance. I hope to get back to it very soon. I was also a scientist studying the genetics of alcoholism and psychiatric disorders in different racial populations. Now I am a stay-at-home mom and find myself fumbling over this job daily. I always knew I wanted children but I was never a "baby lover". I didn't hate them or anything, I just didn't have much experience with them and they made me kind of nervous. This is the most difficult job in the world but the most rewarding. Okay enough.

Today is a big day. My husband and I are leaving our daughter for the first time with my mom DURING THE DAY so we can go see the new 007 movie "Casino Royale" and go to lunch. I thought I would be a nervous wreck but I am really looking forward to it. Like REALLY looking forward to it. No high chairs, baby spoons, diaper changes, inspecting tables for possible hazards, singing in the car (okay, I might still do that - but it won't be "the wheels on the bus"). I can relax and eat and look at my husband. How novel. Okay, I am off to the movie. More later.