I've moved.....

My blog has moved here: http://sambamama.org/

Thing One & Thing Two

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm no good at blogging regularly.

A couple things:

Thing One: I've been doing some research on cruising with a child. The hubs and I LOVE cruises like we never thought we would. Everyone thought we were nuts for doing a 15 day cruise for our honeymoon (it was both our first cruises). After I got over being so damn restless I finally realized that there really is NOTHING to do. That's hard for me. But I managed. Oh? The pool? Yeah...let's lay there. Maybe read a bit. Hmmm...I'm hungry. So you go eat. Then you sit and gaze at the water. Rinse. Repeat x 20. BLISS.

Anyway back to my point. The hubs REALLY wants to do a cruise with K and I'm hesitant. In doing research I've found that many who do do cruises with their youngin's all comment on and rate the kids clubs. Now, I know I may be a bit of a spaz when it comes to these kinds of things but I must say I was appalled by some of things I read. Many parents commented on how they'd leave their child (some as young as 6 months) in the kids club/nursery while going ashore to explore. Uh....WHAAAAAAAAAT???!!! I would NEVER and I mean N - E - V - E - R leave my child on a ship with strangers. Especially not when it is a known fact that they pay employees pennies and work them to the bone. I've heard too many horror stories. I just couldn't believe what I was reading.

My biggest fear is that K will go overboard. It may sound silly but on a recent cruise I noticed how some decks have wide openings where a child could just go right in. And my child LOVES water and she is FEARLESS. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it. And how relaxing will that be for any of us if all I'm doing is obsessing over that?

No one mentions any of that in their reviews. They really only speak on the quality of the kids clubs. Am I nuts? I must be. It's a family vacation. I want my child with me. Now, I guess I get it if they are a bit older and WANT to go play for a bit. But all night? All day? Many of them are staffed from 8am to 2am!! Yeah. 2 A.M.!!!!!


Thing Two: I've been hearing a lot lately how people say "time flies" as it relates to your children. I get it. It kind of does. But being a stay at home mom is such a bonus in that respect. I get to be with her all day (well mostly) and experience all her firsts with her. I don't feel like I am missing anything. Yes, there are times when I long for the next phase but I genuinely feel like I'm soaking up every second of each stage and phase of her growth. As much as I may moan and groan for the hardships of this job, that is one perk that I find simply amazing. I am blessed.

I think I felt the need to express that because people often say to me, "Don't you want to experience that all over again and have another child?" Well....no. I don't. I feel fulfilled. I'm happy with one. I really am. Sometimes I long for pregnancy and breastfeeding again (two things I LOVED) but you know, not the other stuff. And I've one helluva easy, awesome, amazing child.

Not Worthy

So my friend Laura Lee over at We Sit By Fire seems to think I'm worthy of this Blogging Sisterhood Award. Ah, Laura...so sweet! The fond memories I have of you, sister. Thank you, thank you!

Even though I've had this blog for a few years, my posts have been spotty and my readership nearly nil. I do have one that I regularly read though (other than LL who just tagged me) and her name is Tammy aka Juju! You have not blogged in eons but perhaps this will give you the inspiration to start up again. I haven't physically met her yet but how I cyber met her is a good story. Shortly after starting my blog I was randomly browsing other blogs by hitting the "next blog" button at the top of my home page. I came across hers and noticed she said that she grew up on Guam. Well, huh, I thought, so did my mom. Then I found out she is my age and I decide to send her a message to see if she knows another friend of mine who grew up there too. SHE TOTALLY knew her AND turns out they are still friends to this day. Such a small world! She had a baby about a year and a half after me and it's been fun to share in the craziness that is motherhood together.

Thanks again Laura Lee! I'm so glad we are reconnected :)

Deadliest Catch

Do you watch this show? The new season just began. Ohmylord. These are REAL MEN. Marlboro smokin', whiskey swigging, Git-r-done MEN. You could NOT pay me enough to get on one of those crab fishing boats. Are you kidding me? Two things I despise most are a common daily thing for these men: Nausea and being cold and wet. F that! And then you add on the fact that they are often awake for 36 hours or more and away from their loved ones for months at a time. 80 mph winds, freezing rain whipping your face, 40 ft swells, stinky fish, nausea, below freezing wind chill, having to dodge half ton crab pots, and no sleep? Um, no thanks. But I love to watch!

Clueless

Let me just give you a few examples of how clueless I am when it comes to motherhood.

When K was about 2 months old, I started to meet with a mom's group. They were/are a great group of gals. When our babies were about 3 months old, I noticed a lot of them were putting pants on their kids. Pants? Funny how it never occurred to me to put pants OVER the onesies. Even when it was cold.

At around 5 months, I noticed many of the moms putting bibs on the kids. Well, I thought that was just weird since they were not eating solids yet - we were all still breastfeeding. How silly these moms are! Almost in the same breath, I thought, gosh I wish there was a way to soak up all this drool. HELLO????!!!

I always use to marvel at all the fun little toys the moms would whip out of their diaper bags to entertain their kids. Do ya think it ever occurred to MOI to actually BUY toys for my own child? Nah......

Now, K is almost 3.5 years old and I think I've got this down pretty good. But then again, that will probably all change by tomorrow.

Open Letter

Dearest general public,

Please, please, PLEASE for the love of all that is holy, STOP asking my husband and I when/if we are having another child. It is a TOUCHY ass subject between us and NO, if you must know, I DON'T WANT ANOTHER CHILD...RAWRGROWLGRRRRHISSSSSSSSSSSSNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And yes, I know that sounds so un-motherly and selfish and whatever.

Thanks!

What's wrong with having one child?

I have attempted several times to sit down and write a blog post about my feelings and reasoning behind not wanting another child. This woman hits the nail on the head for me.

What's Wrong With Having One Child?

Oh yoga, how I miss thee!

I forgot to update from my last cholesterol check!

Total cholesterol 222 now 197
LDL 132 now 116
Triglycerides 177 now 146
HDL 55 now 52


That's after just 10 weeks! That's hitting the gym 5x a week. Fingers crossed for keeping this up!

A not so funny thing happened on the way to the market today...........

I'm back. Really this time.

So......I'm driving to Henry's market today. I'm in the right hand turn lane - it's a double right hand turn lane and I'm in the far left side). The light turns green. I hesitate. The lady in the right hand turn lane next me (on my right side) hesitates for a moment then turns. I turn. Then I see him. An older man in one of those remote control carts. I'm INCHES from him. He's stunned. I'm stunned. I move on so as not to be in the middle of the road. HOLY SHIT I ALMOST HIT A MAN! I see in my rear view mirror that the man has continued on through the intersection. The woman who was in the far right hand turn lane swerves over to cut me off and force me into the left turn lane of the next stop light. She's PISSED. I roll down my window and she proceeds to tell me, "You are such a fucking idiot!! You almost killed that man!!" I'm freaked out, upset, scared...you name it. I don't know what to do. I say, "I know, I'm sorry, I didn't see him, it was an accident." To which she replies, "Well you should have you fucking IDIOT!!" and drives away. I make the U-turn to go back to see if I can find the man. I don't have any idea what I'm going to do or say if I see him. I don't see him. I feel like I'm getting the evil eye from all drivers (I'm not, anybody that saw it had drove on). I go home and cry. What if? I know it was my fault. I've always been afraid of pedestrians crossing while us making right turns have a green light. Pedestrians have the signal to cross as well. I KNOW it was my fault. I should have seen him. But I didn't. Thank God I didn't hit him. Wherever you are sir, I'm sorry. I hope you are okay.

VOTE

Once again I LAG!

I know this. I have really interesting things to say in my opinion but when I start to write, it comes out like a 4th grader wrote it. Oh well. I suppose that shouldn't stop me.

I'm bored. It's Sunday afternoon and my daughter is napping (after another 3 day nap strike) and my husband is playing Madden football on XBox. My husband hates the word "bored" and says when one gets bored it's from a lack of imagination. Well.....I have a whole lotta no imagination then. I find myself bored fairly often. Days like this are when I really miss my pre-baby life. I always feel guilt in saying that but it's true. It does NOT mean that I regret having my daughter, but it does mean that it's a big change that I sometimes grieve for.

A few new things to chatter about. My brother is in town from Japan! I have not seen him in about 2 years! It's been fun seeing him each day since he got here on Thursday and watch him get to know K (he met her when she 18 months old). I'll be seeing him again tonight at my Dad's for dinner. I really miss that boy. Most of the time it's hard to believe I have a brother because he is so far away. Our relationship has changed - not for the worse, it's just different.

My mother. Lord have mercy. I do not like my mother right now. AT ALL. A few weeks ago she tells me that I "have really put on a lot of weight". I'm 5'3" and just under 120lbs. I was shocked at first, followed by extremely hurt and finally, ANGRY. Mind you, she tells me this after I got my blood cholesterol levels back and they were slightly elevated. My doc is making me retest in 10 weeks and is threatening to put me on Statins if she doesn't see them come down. It's sounds really aggressive but I have got a HIGH family history of heart disease. I have since joined the gym and now have a personal trainer. It's not so I can look like a supermodel or anything (not possible anyway) but so I can maximize my cardio exercise to bring down my cholesterol. I have to do it everyday so I want to do it right. I'll admit I've never been much for the gym but I am really enjoying it so far. It's only been about 3 weeks. Okay, I digressed. Back to my mom. We have gotten into so many LAME arguments. I seriously want to slap her. I feel like she is so hard on my all the time and can be really dismissive of me. She doesn't listen to me and it therefore makes me feel like she doesn't give a rat's ass. I'm sure (I hope) that's not the case but after all these years I'm not sure what to think anymore. Yes, I have brought this issue up a couple times and she gets super defensive and emotional and then I get a little angry because it's like she's trying to make me feel bad. She had a rough time growing up (poor, mother died when she was 9, 7 siblings) but is she allowed to use that excuse for this long? I've always been MUCH closer to my father. I feel like my mom and I are getting worse and worse.......sigh.

I avoid political stuff generally. I feel the need to talk a bit about Prop 8 though. As a permanent absentee voter I have already voted and my vote was NO on Prop 8. It doesn't bother me in the least nor does it offend me (or even affect me) if same sex marriages are legal. Seriously, what do I care? I think there are more pressing issues. I have not been able to hear a ton of the arguments from people who are for Prop 8 but the few I've heard go something like they don't like the word "marriage" being used. They'd be okay with calling it a "civil union/partnership" and giving them all the same rights. So they are really just arguing semantics. They feel that the word marriage is between a man and a woman (as defined in the Bible). I have to say though, that the bible didn't come up with the word "marriage". So, while the bible can define it how it wants, much of the bible is left up for interpretation - again - my opinion. My mom has said it "offends" her that gay people want to call it marriage. Why? How does it even affect you? How does it involve you at all? Their union doesn't even touch you are affect you! It's not any of your business. I'd love to hear more reasons why people are for prop 8. I'm sure I've only scratched the surface. I'm open to (and love hearing) the other side. I respect other people's opinions and think it's important to know what both sides have to say.

K's awake...back to my day.

Tatoo

Last night I had a dream that I went on this strange cruise where we camped out in tents on the deck of the ship. At some point during the cruise I got THREE tatoos. In the dream I realized that I had gotten these and I didn't really recall asking for them. I was so upset to see them the next morning especially when I saw what they were. One was a brightly colored flower with a few stars around it located just above my right boob. Ew. The other two were Disney characters but I don't remember what they were. One was on my left shoulder and the other was above my left boob. I kept asking everyone around me if I was drunk when I got them and if the tatoos were just temporary.

I was pretty happy this morning to realize that it was indeed all a dream.

Big Ol' Update

Oh Lordy. I've done it again. I just can't seem to keep up with a blog. I'll just jump right in with the latest.........

K is off school for these next two weeks while the teachers prepare for the fall. Her new teacher will be coming to our home to meet with us and her next week. How cool is that? She will be going 5 days a week starting September 3rd! I'm a little hesitant but then realize it's only 3.5 hours a day and make myself feel slightly better. I know she loves it and her language skill have been improving like CRAZY! Oh - and she's potty trained. Yeah - just like that. I mean, she's had a few accidents but no biggie. It's nice to not have to buy diapers anymore.

A couple weeks ago we did our first family camping trip! We ended up only staying one night but it was nice to get away to the mountains. There were 7 other families (all with kids around K's age) and 28 of us total! I'd like to make it a yearly thing so the kids can get to know each other. I loved camping when I was little.

Okay, she's awake from her nap, so I will try to be better about this darn blog!

I FINALLY did it!!

I went to yoga. Bikram yoga. After a 3.5 year hiatus. Oh lordy am I sore. I went both Saturday and Sunday even! I plan to go 2-3 times a week now that K is in pre-school. I figure I'll go 3 days/week every other week and 2 days/week every other week. That way on the 2 classes a week days I can run errands or schedule a haircut or just do nothing. Twice a month doesn't sound too indulgent right? Right. I was a nervous wreck on Saturday before class but I wasn't going to let myself get talked out of it. I even had a stomach ache. I made it through the majority of the class but by the time I got up to leave I was pretty nauseous. Today's class was 100% better so I feel good but sore.

Here's to finally getting to my New Year's resolution about 6 months late. (Better late than never!)

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!

Yep. K started school today. I have not been sleeping well at night for the past 4 or 5 nights. I've felt anxious and had restless leg syndrome (which royally pisses me off - I had it a lot during my pregnancy).

I did WAY better than I thought I'd do. I cried on the way to the school but managed to pull myself together before we walked in. I didn't want her to see my red, puffy, teary face and think that school was scary or bad.

Her teachers seem great and there were only 4 kids today so that's only 2 kids per teacher - great for her first school experience I think. The classroom is awesome with lots of stuff to explore and great natural light.

She didn't cry when we left. Thank GOODNESS for that. I called the school around 11am to see how she was doing. They said she cried for about 5 minutes after we left but then has been great ever since and exploring every inch of her new surroundings. I arrived at the school to pick her up about 15 minutes early hoping to spy on her a bit. When I peeked in the room the kids were eating lunch. I watched for a few minutes then went in and she immediately got up, ran to me and exclaimed, "oh look! It's my mama!" That was the best part.

All I did while she was in school was catch up on some email, pay some bills and make some phone calls. I managed to eat a bit but didn't have much of an appetite.

The first day was definitely a success. I'm a proud mommy today.

Vegas on a whim

As we were lying around the house on Saturday morning, my husband suddenly got the idea in his head that it would be a good idea to fly to Vegas and stay for the night. After a few phone calls to determine which hotel had the most kid-friendly pool area, we decided on the MGM Grand. We packed FAST and managed to forget a few key things (swim diapers, underwear for me and my NuvaRing). Oh well. The flight was great, K napped on the plane and it took only 1 hour and 22 minutes. It costs us less than a commercial flight for 3 of us and we didn't have to bother with their schedule, security checks or the boarding cattle call.....YES! The hub arranged for a private town car to take us to the hotel upon arrival. I was so wide eyed at the VIP service I must have looked like a total rookie.

The suite we were promised (at a huge discount by the way) was apparently given away as we checked in just an hour late. WTF? The hub used his players club points to get the upgrade but apparently it will be given away if another person with a higher players club status checks in before you. No biggie. We unloaded our stuff in the room and headed for the pool. Thank goodness they sold swim diapers at the pool area. The pool was CROWDED with young, drunk and loud people. Note to self: Vegas may not be the most appropriate place for kids! We went a couple times around the lazy river with K and she had a blast. I was so glad that we remembered her water wings. I had a good time watching the drunk and/or hungover people sweating it out in the Vegas heat by the pool. I was surprised to see people of all ages there (birth to 80's!). After the pool we headed to see the lion enclosure inside the hotel. They were sleeping but K enjoyed them all the same. We found a dinner place, made a 6:15 reservation, headed to the room, changed and back down to dinner. Fantastic food! I was kicking myself for not bringing the camera to dinner. The hub got a caesar salad to start and a big thick fillet mignon with king crab legs, grilled asparagus and creamy mashed potatoes for dinner. I ordered a build-your-own salad where you can check off up to 10 things for your salad. Mine included chopped romaine, spanish olives, shaved radish, toasted pine nuts, creamy dill ranch dressing, bacon bits, cucumber, avocado, and carrots. For dinner I had wild Alaskan halibut on a bed of lentils and rice with grilled asparagus. We shared our food with K and she loved it all (except the wild mushrooms on daddy's plate!). After dinner we headed back to the room, put K down for bed and we sat in bed and watched "Fool's Gold". The hub went downstairs to play blackjack while we slept. He was only gone a couple hours.

K slept in until 8am! Downstairs for a mediocre overpriced breakfast, then back to the room to pack, give our luggage to the bell desk to hold, and back out to the pool. AAAAAhhhh.....no one at the pool! All still sleeping off their night of partying. A couple times around the lazy river and lounging by the pool and we were hungry for lunch. We stopped by to visit the lions frolicking about and playing with the trainers. Lunch was at the Rainforest Cafe. K loved the noises of the stampedes and the rain as well as the animated elephants, monkeys and cheetahs. After lunch we gathered our luggage and took a short cab ride to the airport, loaded up on the green apples, bottled water, popcorn and chocolate chip cookies that are available for FREE in the terminal for the flight. The nice man who drove us out to our plane offered to drive K and I over to big Gulf Stream to take a tour while the hub did his pre-flight. What a cool plane! Like a mini Air Force One! Full staff and all. They were headed to Oklahoma. The pilot gave Naya a special "pilot's brownie". Back in the plane and off for home. We were back home by 4pm.

*Sigh* now it's back to our usual week of laundry, cleaning, cooking and running errands. I could get used to having a jet set life! K starts pre-school in ONE week! Yoga here I come.

*Forgot to add that the hub put $5 in a machine as we were leaving (much to my dismay) but instantly turned it into $25! Now, I know that's not a lot but I was happy it wasn't $5 lost but $20 gained! I am so NOT the gambler.

Hawaii

So...Hawaii. It was good. It wasn't great. K was a bit fussier than normal (although compared to most toddlers, we hear she is very easy) and I think we learned that traveling with another couple is difficult. Especially when they don't have kids. We ended up having to move from the home we rented due to some HUGE ASS roaches. Oh yes people. HUGE. The hub found the first one in his toiletries bag and turned white as a ghost. I'm cracking up thinking about it as I type this. Here is the big fucker:



We sucked it up in the vacuum then left the vacuum outside. Anyhow, the owner of the home gave us our money back and we moved to the Westin Resort which was awesome. Oddly there are a lot of hippies on the island. Why? Not that they bother me, but just found it odd - they do stand out with their white skin, dreads, and hitchhiking. Just sayin'
We even started saying (while in the car) "heeeey hippie". Now k repeats us but instead says "heeey hippets!". It probably doesn't sound funny to you, but it is to me.

I found the easiest recipe for chicken lettuce wraps - made them tonight. Super fast, super easy, and very tasty.
Okay, I'm tired.

Progress

K seems better today and she slept great last night. The hub just IM'ed me this though:
"I feel like 100% Prime, Grade AAA dog shit." Jeeeez. I'm poppin' the zinc lozenges and trying to stay über hydrated as well. I can't deal with Airborne or Emergen-C. It literally makes me gag.

4 loads of laundry are done and waiting to be folded and packed. Bought hubby his golf balls this morning - he plans to golf in Hawaii. Still have a lot to do but am thankful I'm feeling healthy! Packing for a little one takes up a lot of room. Diapers, life vest (the house in on a private lake), snacks, clothes (thank goodness there's a washer/dryer there), shoes, bug spray, sunscreen...blah blah blah. I bought K her own little backpack and she can't wait to carry it on the plane. She walks around the house wearing it while carrying a tape measure and telling me that my legs are 6" long. Thank goodness that's not true.

Dinner...what to make, what to make? Maybe I'll go to my mom's. Hub is staying over night for work to tie up some loose ends. Or maybe I'll just make those Nutella cupcakes I've been meaning to and call it a night?

Murphy's Law

K is sick with a cold. It started last night. I was up with her at 11 and 4ish am. Ugh. We leave for Hawaii on Friday. This kid never gets sick. Unless of course it's time to go on vacation I suppose. She was sick for a bit in Mexico with a cold too. WTF? I'm praying I don't get it.

I'm so tired. K is watching The Little Mermaid and I just made some fried rice. I need comfort food.

Kabuki

From here on out, I'm going to refer to my daughter as "Kabuki" or "K". Don't ask. I have about 6 billion nicknames for her so I picked the least embarrassing one.

I can't believe that K will be two and a half in a month. Time really does fly. Since I'm too lazy to write in her journal right now, I thought I'd type some updates on her.

She's officially in a toddler bed and loving it. For the first few days she would sing and talk to herself until we came and got her. Then she would call out for us to come get her. Then she would get out of bed and open her door and stand in the hall just outside her door and call out to us. Now, she wakes up quietly, gets out of bed and walks either down the hall to our room if it's in the morning or stands at the gate at the top of the stairs and calls down to me after her nap. I think she really loves that tiny bit of newfound independence.

Food-wise she seems to love pungent and/or salty foods. She must be in a growth spurt at the moment because she is suddenly eating a ton. Everyday she eats no less than 6 mandarin oranges.

Talking: Oh my. She is hilarious. Loves to play with maracas. She grabs a stuffed animal and one of her maracas, strips down naked then runs circles around our kitchen island and says "c'mon mama, let's dance!" Her favorite toys right now are the maracas, certain stuffed animals, a toy stroller and some magnetic letters and LEGO farmer figurines. She likes to stuff the farmers in her purse, put the purse over her shoulder then grab the stroller and go "shopping" for the following: oranges, onions and chocolate. I have no idea how she came up with that yummy trio.

Classes: Still doing a weekly gymnastics class. I love the teacher, the gym, the physical activity and the socialization she gets. I'm getting a bit bored of it though. We've been going for a year now. We just started her 3rd Music Together session on Wednesday. Ironically, this session is called "Maracas". I think it's a great program albeit expensive. Her gym class and music class are back to back which could cause some meltdowns so I may switch K to the Thursday music class. I figure I'm only going to be doing these classes with her until mid-June. This leads us to.......

PRESCHOOL!!! OMG. 3 days a week. Starting in early July. I'm freaked out. I was going to let her nap there but I think I've decided to pick her up before the nap. It will give me less time, but I can just go to an earlier yoga class. The school has a camera system at the school that allows parents to watch their children. I will need to practice restraint with this one.

Okay, still on the topic of kids but not my child.......

I watched a re-cap of "Idol Gives Back" last night. UGH. I purposely didn't watch it this year b/c last year it just tore me up to see what some of those kids endure daily. 3 little kids sleeping on some dirty foam pad that looked to be about 3'x 4'. Their "home" was a one room shack with clothes and pots on the floor. And they are said to "have it good". How can I complain about ANYTHING in my life after seeing that?

Even before I had K, I have always had such an emotional reaction to such stories. Like crying for several days about it when I'd think of it. I get most of my news from CNN.com and I am absolutely HORRIFIED by some of the crimes against children I see or read. The last one I read was about how this women's boyfriend beat her 2 year old daughter TO DEATH with a remote control. When asked why, the boyfriend "didn't know". The worst part is that the mother was home and didn't do anything. I'd have killed him. KILLED him. Parents put kids in the clothes dryer, in the microwave, lock them out in the snow when they won't behave, put them in a car wash and a slew of other disgusting things. I think to myself how can it ever get so bad that you would do that to a child? Your own child! HOW? WHY? It just makes me so sick and upset.