I've encountered this too much to keep quiet about it!
The first is/was my decision to have no pain meds in childbirth. Oh my hell. I never thought I'd get so much shit for it like I did. Even today, over 2 'effin years after I've given birth, people still talk shit. Now I guess I don't really know what it's like on the other side, but from what I've heard from various friends, it's so much more acceptable to have had pain meds. First of all, I have no problem if you don't believe in this decision because it's a personal one, one that has to be made (in most cases) with lots of consideration. You'd think I'd get crap from women who had NO choice (ie, danger to mom or baby) but Nooooooooooooooooo, I get it from women who decided even before they got pregnant that they wanted meds. Now, I don't judge anyone for wanting pain meds so why do I get judged? I also make it clear that if there was a problem or I felt as though I just couldn't deal, then you bet your ass I'd have asked for some pain relief. I don't think or act like I'm better than anyone for doing it, so why is it fair that I take it but I'll be damned if I want to dish it out? One girl actually said to me once, "Well I wasn't trying to be some hero like you were." Are you kidding me? Honey, as far as I'm concerned YOU'RE the hero for taking a needle in your spine. I also once got, "Good luck with that." when I told a "friend" of my plans just after she had given birth but before I had. Now, if I would have said to her, "You are such a baby," or "You could have hurt your baby or you," I would have been ripped a new one. I guess it's only okay if the masses agree with you. Anyhow, there is a new movie coming out about the amount of medical intervention done in birth in America: The Business of Being Born
Okay, second rant.
I'm a stay at home mom. I don't care if you are not. I don't judge you if you are not. I have my reasons, you have yours. I can talk about it without getting judgmental or mad so why can't you? Don't tell me you wish you could afford it. I know plenty of families who struggle to make ends meet every month but do it because they made the choice and the sacrifices that come with it. This job is HARD. I don't need to feel judged. I think us women need to support each other in our decisions even if they differ. We all have our own issues and struggles and the last thing anyone wants or needs is to feel stupid or judged by theirs. There is enough women on women hating going around.
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1 comment:
Amen sista! ;)
What is the whole deal with med-free childbirth?? Even my ob/gyn was like cracking jokes about 'why do some women want to be super heros', etc... after I broke down and got the epidural. I didn't want it to ruin my experience, so I just laughed along at the time - but yea - the meds are there if and when we need them - I don't see why we should opt for them from the start. I mean, seriously - even if you did, why would anyone criticize you for wanting to go natural. I think they're just jealous! lol.
And yea - it sucks to be judged for being a stay at home mom - being a mom is much harder than any day job I've ever had! Again, I think people are just jealous - let them be :)
*hugs*
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