Mama Drama

I think I'm at that age now where I realize that my parents are just people who make mistakes just like the rest of us. Maybe I'm a little late in my realization. That said, my mother is nuts.

A few months ago she broke up with her boyfriend of 10 years. They had been living together for about 7 or 8 of those years. I've always thought they made an odd couple. My mom is kind of a gym rat (goes everyday after work) and has worked at the same place for 35 years managing to move up the ladder nicely. Her boyfriend sort of was a job hopper (general contractor, car sales) and shows about as much interest in physical activity as my daughter does in dolls. Now, I know for many these differences may not matter, but for my mom they have always bothered her. For a couple years now they seemed to be living separate lives. My mom would come home from work, change and go to the gym while he would be on the couch watching TV. She'd get home and make dinner and serve him his dinner in front of the TV. Okay, enough history.

I have recently learned that she has a boyfriend. She has likely had this boyfriend for over a year. Yes, an affair. AN AFFAIR. Mind you, my parents divorced b/c my father had an affair (which he still feels guilty for to this day and finds many opportunities to apologize for his actions). This new man is a man she has known since she was a teenager and whom she used to work for when she was young. She's always had a thing for him and him for her apparently. Well, his wife died a few years ago, he contacted my mom and the rest is history. So not only did I recently learn of this new man, she tells me they are engaged and he is moving down here Thanksgiving weekend. Ummmm.....what?

A few things about my mom have always annoyed me. Her lack of listening skills and her ability to be "stressed out" all the time. I've let her know that while I do like this new guy (met him once), I DO NOT approve of how they went about things. AT ALL. Now I'm in the awkward position of fielding a billion questions once her ex and my Dad find this out. I want my mother to be happy. She deserves that - but I feel like she is acting selfish. This all seems so soon. Granted, she should have broken up with her ex a long time ago but that is no excuse. He was crushed. Is crushed. And soon he'll find out that another man is moving in.

I had dinner with my mom last night and on the way out, I got a little irked with my daughter who fussed and screamed through much of dinner. She said I have no patience. I said (in my nicest tone), "Mom, you were never a stay-at-home mom" to which she replied, "No, but you kids used to ask endless questions all day". I wanted to scream at her but I held it in. Even as a kid I remember being curious and asking questions and her saying things like, "not now", just plain ignoring me, or saying an absent "uh-huh". She still does that shit. To this day I'm pretty sensitive when I know someone is not paying attention to me when I feel I have something important to say.

Now I know why I was and still am a Daddy's Girl.
I thought only my husband had the crazy parents.