Clueless

Let me just give you a few examples of how clueless I am when it comes to motherhood.

When K was about 2 months old, I started to meet with a mom's group. They were/are a great group of gals. When our babies were about 3 months old, I noticed a lot of them were putting pants on their kids. Pants? Funny how it never occurred to me to put pants OVER the onesies. Even when it was cold.

At around 5 months, I noticed many of the moms putting bibs on the kids. Well, I thought that was just weird since they were not eating solids yet - we were all still breastfeeding. How silly these moms are! Almost in the same breath, I thought, gosh I wish there was a way to soak up all this drool. HELLO????!!!

I always use to marvel at all the fun little toys the moms would whip out of their diaper bags to entertain their kids. Do ya think it ever occurred to MOI to actually BUY toys for my own child? Nah......

Now, K is almost 3.5 years old and I think I've got this down pretty good. But then again, that will probably all change by tomorrow.

Open Letter

Dearest general public,

Please, please, PLEASE for the love of all that is holy, STOP asking my husband and I when/if we are having another child. It is a TOUCHY ass subject between us and NO, if you must know, I DON'T WANT ANOTHER CHILD...RAWRGROWLGRRRRHISSSSSSSSSSSSNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And yes, I know that sounds so un-motherly and selfish and whatever.

Thanks!

What's wrong with having one child?

I have attempted several times to sit down and write a blog post about my feelings and reasoning behind not wanting another child. This woman hits the nail on the head for me.

What's Wrong With Having One Child?

Oh yoga, how I miss thee!

I forgot to update from my last cholesterol check!

Total cholesterol 222 now 197
LDL 132 now 116
Triglycerides 177 now 146
HDL 55 now 52


That's after just 10 weeks! That's hitting the gym 5x a week. Fingers crossed for keeping this up!

A not so funny thing happened on the way to the market today...........

I'm back. Really this time.

So......I'm driving to Henry's market today. I'm in the right hand turn lane - it's a double right hand turn lane and I'm in the far left side). The light turns green. I hesitate. The lady in the right hand turn lane next me (on my right side) hesitates for a moment then turns. I turn. Then I see him. An older man in one of those remote control carts. I'm INCHES from him. He's stunned. I'm stunned. I move on so as not to be in the middle of the road. HOLY SHIT I ALMOST HIT A MAN! I see in my rear view mirror that the man has continued on through the intersection. The woman who was in the far right hand turn lane swerves over to cut me off and force me into the left turn lane of the next stop light. She's PISSED. I roll down my window and she proceeds to tell me, "You are such a fucking idiot!! You almost killed that man!!" I'm freaked out, upset, scared...you name it. I don't know what to do. I say, "I know, I'm sorry, I didn't see him, it was an accident." To which she replies, "Well you should have you fucking IDIOT!!" and drives away. I make the U-turn to go back to see if I can find the man. I don't have any idea what I'm going to do or say if I see him. I don't see him. I feel like I'm getting the evil eye from all drivers (I'm not, anybody that saw it had drove on). I go home and cry. What if? I know it was my fault. I've always been afraid of pedestrians crossing while us making right turns have a green light. Pedestrians have the signal to cross as well. I KNOW it was my fault. I should have seen him. But I didn't. Thank God I didn't hit him. Wherever you are sir, I'm sorry. I hope you are okay.

VOTE

Once again I LAG!

I know this. I have really interesting things to say in my opinion but when I start to write, it comes out like a 4th grader wrote it. Oh well. I suppose that shouldn't stop me.

I'm bored. It's Sunday afternoon and my daughter is napping (after another 3 day nap strike) and my husband is playing Madden football on XBox. My husband hates the word "bored" and says when one gets bored it's from a lack of imagination. Well.....I have a whole lotta no imagination then. I find myself bored fairly often. Days like this are when I really miss my pre-baby life. I always feel guilt in saying that but it's true. It does NOT mean that I regret having my daughter, but it does mean that it's a big change that I sometimes grieve for.

A few new things to chatter about. My brother is in town from Japan! I have not seen him in about 2 years! It's been fun seeing him each day since he got here on Thursday and watch him get to know K (he met her when she 18 months old). I'll be seeing him again tonight at my Dad's for dinner. I really miss that boy. Most of the time it's hard to believe I have a brother because he is so far away. Our relationship has changed - not for the worse, it's just different.

My mother. Lord have mercy. I do not like my mother right now. AT ALL. A few weeks ago she tells me that I "have really put on a lot of weight". I'm 5'3" and just under 120lbs. I was shocked at first, followed by extremely hurt and finally, ANGRY. Mind you, she tells me this after I got my blood cholesterol levels back and they were slightly elevated. My doc is making me retest in 10 weeks and is threatening to put me on Statins if she doesn't see them come down. It's sounds really aggressive but I have got a HIGH family history of heart disease. I have since joined the gym and now have a personal trainer. It's not so I can look like a supermodel or anything (not possible anyway) but so I can maximize my cardio exercise to bring down my cholesterol. I have to do it everyday so I want to do it right. I'll admit I've never been much for the gym but I am really enjoying it so far. It's only been about 3 weeks. Okay, I digressed. Back to my mom. We have gotten into so many LAME arguments. I seriously want to slap her. I feel like she is so hard on my all the time and can be really dismissive of me. She doesn't listen to me and it therefore makes me feel like she doesn't give a rat's ass. I'm sure (I hope) that's not the case but after all these years I'm not sure what to think anymore. Yes, I have brought this issue up a couple times and she gets super defensive and emotional and then I get a little angry because it's like she's trying to make me feel bad. She had a rough time growing up (poor, mother died when she was 9, 7 siblings) but is she allowed to use that excuse for this long? I've always been MUCH closer to my father. I feel like my mom and I are getting worse and worse.......sigh.

I avoid political stuff generally. I feel the need to talk a bit about Prop 8 though. As a permanent absentee voter I have already voted and my vote was NO on Prop 8. It doesn't bother me in the least nor does it offend me (or even affect me) if same sex marriages are legal. Seriously, what do I care? I think there are more pressing issues. I have not been able to hear a ton of the arguments from people who are for Prop 8 but the few I've heard go something like they don't like the word "marriage" being used. They'd be okay with calling it a "civil union/partnership" and giving them all the same rights. So they are really just arguing semantics. They feel that the word marriage is between a man and a woman (as defined in the Bible). I have to say though, that the bible didn't come up with the word "marriage". So, while the bible can define it how it wants, much of the bible is left up for interpretation - again - my opinion. My mom has said it "offends" her that gay people want to call it marriage. Why? How does it even affect you? How does it involve you at all? Their union doesn't even touch you are affect you! It's not any of your business. I'd love to hear more reasons why people are for prop 8. I'm sure I've only scratched the surface. I'm open to (and love hearing) the other side. I respect other people's opinions and think it's important to know what both sides have to say.

K's awake...back to my day.