Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Once again I LAG!
I know this. I have really interesting things to say in my opinion but when I start to write, it comes out like a 4th grader wrote it. Oh well. I suppose that shouldn't stop me.
I'm bored. It's Sunday afternoon and my daughter is napping (after another 3 day nap strike) and my husband is playing Madden football on XBox. My husband hates the word "bored" and says when one gets bored it's from a lack of imagination. Well.....I have a whole lotta no imagination then. I find myself bored fairly often. Days like this are when I really miss my pre-baby life. I always feel guilt in saying that but it's true. It does NOT mean that I regret having my daughter, but it does mean that it's a big change that I sometimes grieve for.
A few new things to chatter about. My brother is in town from Japan! I have not seen him in about 2 years! It's been fun seeing him each day since he got here on Thursday and watch him get to know K (he met her when she 18 months old). I'll be seeing him again tonight at my Dad's for dinner. I really miss that boy. Most of the time it's hard to believe I have a brother because he is so far away. Our relationship has changed - not for the worse, it's just different.
My mother. Lord have mercy. I do not like my mother right now. AT ALL. A few weeks ago she tells me that I "have really put on a lot of weight". I'm 5'3" and just under 120lbs. I was shocked at first, followed by extremely hurt and finally, ANGRY. Mind you, she tells me this after I got my blood cholesterol levels back and they were slightly elevated. My doc is making me retest in 10 weeks and is threatening to put me on Statins if she doesn't see them come down. It's sounds really aggressive but I have got a HIGH family history of heart disease. I have since joined the gym and now have a personal trainer. It's not so I can look like a supermodel or anything (not possible anyway) but so I can maximize my cardio exercise to bring down my cholesterol. I have to do it everyday so I want to do it right. I'll admit I've never been much for the gym but I am really enjoying it so far. It's only been about 3 weeks. Okay, I digressed. Back to my mom. We have gotten into so many LAME arguments. I seriously want to slap her. I feel like she is so hard on my all the time and can be really dismissive of me. She doesn't listen to me and it therefore makes me feel like she doesn't give a rat's ass. I'm sure (I hope) that's not the case but after all these years I'm not sure what to think anymore. Yes, I have brought this issue up a couple times and she gets super defensive and emotional and then I get a little angry because it's like she's trying to make me feel bad. She had a rough time growing up (poor, mother died when she was 9, 7 siblings) but is she allowed to use that excuse for this long? I've always been MUCH closer to my father. I feel like my mom and I are getting worse and worse.......sigh.
I avoid political stuff generally. I feel the need to talk a bit about Prop 8 though. As a permanent absentee voter I have already voted and my vote was NO on Prop 8. It doesn't bother me in the least nor does it offend me (or even affect me) if same sex marriages are legal. Seriously, what do I care? I think there are more pressing issues. I have not been able to hear a ton of the arguments from people who are for Prop 8 but the few I've heard go something like they don't like the word "marriage" being used. They'd be okay with calling it a "civil union/partnership" and giving them all the same rights. So they are really just arguing semantics. They feel that the word marriage is between a man and a woman (as defined in the Bible). I have to say though, that the bible didn't come up with the word "marriage". So, while the bible can define it how it wants, much of the bible is left up for interpretation - again - my opinion. My mom has said it "offends" her that gay people want to call it marriage. Why? How does it even affect you? How does it involve you at all? Their union doesn't even touch you are affect you! It's not any of your business. I'd love to hear more reasons why people are for prop 8. I'm sure I've only scratched the surface. I'm open to (and love hearing) the other side. I respect other people's opinions and think it's important to know what both sides have to say.
K's awake...back to my day.
I'm bored. It's Sunday afternoon and my daughter is napping (after another 3 day nap strike) and my husband is playing Madden football on XBox. My husband hates the word "bored" and says when one gets bored it's from a lack of imagination. Well.....I have a whole lotta no imagination then. I find myself bored fairly often. Days like this are when I really miss my pre-baby life. I always feel guilt in saying that but it's true. It does NOT mean that I regret having my daughter, but it does mean that it's a big change that I sometimes grieve for.
A few new things to chatter about. My brother is in town from Japan! I have not seen him in about 2 years! It's been fun seeing him each day since he got here on Thursday and watch him get to know K (he met her when she 18 months old). I'll be seeing him again tonight at my Dad's for dinner. I really miss that boy. Most of the time it's hard to believe I have a brother because he is so far away. Our relationship has changed - not for the worse, it's just different.
My mother. Lord have mercy. I do not like my mother right now. AT ALL. A few weeks ago she tells me that I "have really put on a lot of weight". I'm 5'3" and just under 120lbs. I was shocked at first, followed by extremely hurt and finally, ANGRY. Mind you, she tells me this after I got my blood cholesterol levels back and they were slightly elevated. My doc is making me retest in 10 weeks and is threatening to put me on Statins if she doesn't see them come down. It's sounds really aggressive but I have got a HIGH family history of heart disease. I have since joined the gym and now have a personal trainer. It's not so I can look like a supermodel or anything (not possible anyway) but so I can maximize my cardio exercise to bring down my cholesterol. I have to do it everyday so I want to do it right. I'll admit I've never been much for the gym but I am really enjoying it so far. It's only been about 3 weeks. Okay, I digressed. Back to my mom. We have gotten into so many LAME arguments. I seriously want to slap her. I feel like she is so hard on my all the time and can be really dismissive of me. She doesn't listen to me and it therefore makes me feel like she doesn't give a rat's ass. I'm sure (I hope) that's not the case but after all these years I'm not sure what to think anymore. Yes, I have brought this issue up a couple times and she gets super defensive and emotional and then I get a little angry because it's like she's trying to make me feel bad. She had a rough time growing up (poor, mother died when she was 9, 7 siblings) but is she allowed to use that excuse for this long? I've always been MUCH closer to my father. I feel like my mom and I are getting worse and worse.......sigh.
I avoid political stuff generally. I feel the need to talk a bit about Prop 8 though. As a permanent absentee voter I have already voted and my vote was NO on Prop 8. It doesn't bother me in the least nor does it offend me (or even affect me) if same sex marriages are legal. Seriously, what do I care? I think there are more pressing issues. I have not been able to hear a ton of the arguments from people who are for Prop 8 but the few I've heard go something like they don't like the word "marriage" being used. They'd be okay with calling it a "civil union/partnership" and giving them all the same rights. So they are really just arguing semantics. They feel that the word marriage is between a man and a woman (as defined in the Bible). I have to say though, that the bible didn't come up with the word "marriage". So, while the bible can define it how it wants, much of the bible is left up for interpretation - again - my opinion. My mom has said it "offends" her that gay people want to call it marriage. Why? How does it even affect you? How does it involve you at all? Their union doesn't even touch you are affect you! It's not any of your business. I'd love to hear more reasons why people are for prop 8. I'm sure I've only scratched the surface. I'm open to (and love hearing) the other side. I respect other people's opinions and think it's important to know what both sides have to say.
K's awake...back to my day.
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